2011 Wasted Movies List
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Directed by: Michael Bay
Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, and John Turturro
Like any moviegoer, I went into Transformers expecting lots of action and lots of laughs. I certainly got all the guns, stunts, and special effects that an action junkie like myself could ever want. I certainly got the laughs too, but I was still disappointed at the end of the film. A lot is missing from the film that keeps it from becoming a great blockbuster. It simply does not hold up against the original Transformers. Continue reading...
Friends With Benefits
Directed By: Will Gluck
Starring: Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis
The
romantic comedies keep coming this summer. Most of them lack
originality and style. Some even lack genuine romance or comedy.
Nowadays, they're just counter-programming to big blockbusters like Harry Potter and Transformers. Will Gluck's Friends with Benefits is
another one of these unoriginal, unfunny romantic comedies. The
romance between Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis is there, but the
laughs are not. Continue reading...
Cowboys & Aliens
Starring: Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, and Olivia Wilde
The idea of combining the Wild West and outer space in a film is just so crazy that it could have worked. With names like Steven Spielberg, Ron Howard, and Jon Favreau behind Cowboys & Aliens, we should have expected great things from the film. An even better case could be made for the movie given that it's starring Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford. Unfortunately, the film does not live up to its hype and the reputations of the A-listers behind it. Cowboys & Aliens is a good idea with great talent — on and off screen — drowned in bad filmmaking. Continue reading...
The Change-Up
Directed By: David Dobkin
Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Jason Bateman, Leslie Mann, and Olivia Wilde
Ryan Reynolds and Olivia Wilde cannot put out a good film this year. Green Lantern and Cowboys & Aliens—
films starring Reynolds and Wilde respectively — have been critically
panned and have had anything but stellar performances at the box
office. For The Change-Up, they bring Jason Bateman and Leslie Mann into their slump. The Change-Up
is a heartwarming, wholesome comedy trying to masquerade as a wild,
raunchy affair. It fails to really be either. It could have worked if
writers Jon Lucas and Scott Moore would have stepped their game up a
notch or two. Continue reading...
Final Destination 5
Directed By: Steven Quale
Starring: Nicholas D'Agosto, Emma Bell, Arlen Escarpeta, and Miles Fisher
Great
horror films are the stuff from which nightmares are born. They can
make the most fearless individuals a bit apprehensive. The terrors in
these movies are immortalized on film and in our memories. Bad horror
flicks are exactly the opposite. They're the examples that give the
horror genre a bad rap. Final Destination 5 is sadly just another bad horror pic that lacks scares, thrills, and any creativity whatsoever. Continue reading...
Don't Be Afraid of the Dark
Directed By: Troy Nixey
Starring: Katie Holmes, Guy Pearce, and Bailee Madison
2011
has not been a particularly great year for horror flicks. There's just
been one waste of fake blood after another. Bringing Guillermo del
Toro into the horror fold for a run at producing Don't Be Afraid of the Dark was
a beacon of hope. His well-documented creativity and unique visuals
would have been a welcomed addition to the genre. It was supposed to be
the light at the end of the tunnel. After all, del Toro has vividly
brought many monsters to life on the big screen in films like Hellboy, Hellboy II, and Pan's Labyrinth. Sadly, my expectations were far from met in Don't Be Afraid of the Dark. Continue reading...
Straw Dogs
Directed By: Rod Lurie
Starring: James Marsden, Kate Bosworth, Alexander Skarsgård, and James Woods
Remakes
are a dime a dozen these days in Hollywood. Very few live up to the
originals. More often than not, you'll see movies like Poseidon, The Day the Earth Stood Still, and Clash of the Titans as opposed to True Grit, Ocean's Eleven, and The Departed. Unfortunately, Rod Lurie's remake of Straw Dogs falls in the former category, and you'll need to pre-game for this one. Continue reading...
Killer Elite
Starring: Jason Statham, Clive Owen, Robert De Niro, Yvonne Strahovski, and Dominic Purcell
Catwoman, Alexander, The Last Airbender, and the recent movie Abduction are among an elite group of action films that absolutely, unequivocally suck. With each of these films, there was a megastar or a lot of hype surrounding the movie, and with each of these films, audiences were sorely disappointed. Clearly, bad action flicks aren't hard to come by. When I heard Jason, Clive, and Bobby D. were getting together for Killer Elite, I got pretty excited. Unfortunately, Killer Elite gets an all-access pass to the crappy action movies club. Continue reading...
The Three Musketeers
Directed By: Paul W.S. Anderson
Starring:
Logan Lerman, Milla Jovovich, Matthew Macfayden, Ray Stevenson, Luke
Evans, Mads Mikkelsen, James Corden, Juno Temple, Orlando Bloom, and
Christoph Waltz
Every once in a while, I have reasonably high hopes for a film even when I know I shouldn't. When I heard about The Three Musketeers,
I thought it had potential to be a sleeper hit. Then, I learned about
the cast, a melting pot of lesser known actors and stars who stopped
shining on the big screen long ago. Then, the movie got delayed from an
August release date to a weekend in late October. When they wouldn't
even compete with the crap studios put out in August like The Change-Up, Final Destination 5, and Don't Be Afraid of the Dark,
I should've known better. What can I say? I'm a sucker for
swashbuckling action. Even though all the signs were pointing in the
wrong direction for the film, I was still optimistic. Then, I actually
saw The Three Musketeers, and my little bubble was completely deflated. Continue reading...
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1
Directed By: Bill Condon
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner
I always try to see the best in movies, but sometimes films are just so crappy that they're downright nightmarish. In my first official review of a Twilight film, I wanted to give a decent review. I wanted to be nice and not piss off those diehard Twilight fans, but the temptation to trash this crappy film is just too great. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 has quickly become one of those nightmarishly horrible films for me, and I'm going to tell you exactly why. Continue reading...
