REVIEW: Ape Management's Use of the Achilles List Guarantees the Conquest of the Planet of the Apes

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, July 13, 2014 In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes





Directed By: J. Lee Thompson

Starring: Roddy McDowall, Don Murray, Ricardo Montalbán, and Natalie Trundy

Caesar (Roddy McDowall): "The King is dead.  Long live the King!  Tell me Breck, before you die - how do we differ from the dogs and cats that you and your kind used to love?  Why did you turn us from pets into slaves?"

Breck (Don Murray): "Because your kind were once our ancestors.  Because man was born of apes, and there's still an ape curled up inside of ...

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REVIEW: With Time Travel, A Presidential Commission, & A Pregnant Zira, Escape from the Planet of the Apes Scoffs at Conventional Narrative Wisdom

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, July 13, 2014 In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Escape from the Planet of the Apes





Directed By: Don Taylor


Starring: Roddy McDowall, Kim Hunter, Bradford Dillman, Natalie Trundy, Eric Braeden, Sal Mineo, and Ricardo Montalbán

Beneath the Planet of the Apes has a pretty definitive conclusion.  After all, just about everybody dies.  The film's explosive ending could not kill Hollywood's addiction to sequels, however.  Studio execs somehow resurrect the series and march onward.  This is some pretty unbelievable stuff for the early 70s.  This se...

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REVIEW: In Beneath the Planet of the Apes, Doomsday Nears for This Green & Insignificant Planet Thanks to the Telepaths' Alpha Omega Bomb

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, June 22, 2014 In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Beneath the Planet of the Apes





Directed By: Ted Post

Starring: James Franciscus, Kim Hunter, Maurice Evans, Linda Harrison, and Charlton Heston


As I watched Planet of the Apes once again, it reminded me just how bold Rise of the Planet of the Apes and its upcoming sequel Dawn of the Planet of the Apes really are.  In Planet of the Apes and its sequels, the apocalypse has come and gone.  In these newer prequels, we're focusing squarely on the turbulent times that lead to mankind's downfall, which...

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REVIEW: On the Upside Down Planet of the Apes, Bright Eyes Deviant Taylor Wants the Damned Dirty Apes to Get Their Stinking Paws Off Him

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, June 19, 2014 In : 0.00% Water 
Planet of the Apes





Directed By: Franklin J. Schaffner

Starring: Charlton Heston, Roddy McDowall, Maurice Evans, Kim Hunter, James Whitmore, James Daly, and Linda Harrison

"Beware the beast Man, for he is the Devil's pawn.  Alone among God's primates, he kills for sport or lust or greed.  Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land.  Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours.  Shun him; drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the ...

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REVIEW: Justice Is Not Served in Hell's Kitchen by the Blind Lawyer Daredevil, the Man With No Fear

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, June 15, 2014 In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Daredevil





Directed By: Mark Steven Johnson

Starring: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, Michael Clarke Duncan, Colin Farrell, Joe Pantoliano, Jon Favreau, and David Keith

We've got a lot of big superhero movies in 2014 and 2015, including the likes of The Amazing Spider-Man 2, X-Men: Days of Future Past, Guardians of the Galaxy, and The Avengers: Age of Ultron.  Still, moviegoers seem to have their eyes fixated on the Zack Snyder's Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice, which is still two years away. ...

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REVIEW: With Aliens, Rubik's Cubes, and Operation Walking Distance, Super 8 is One Cool Throwback Sci-Fi Flick

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 3, 2014 In : 0.00% Water 
Super 8





Directed By: J. J. Abrams


Starring: Joel Courtney, Elle Fanning, Kyle Chandler, Riley Griffiths, Ryan Lee, and Ron Eldard


The Internet is abuzz with talk about the casting for J.J. Abrams's Star Wars: Episode VII.  Expectedly, some Trekkies are still discontent with the fact that Abrams turned to the dark side by ditching the Star Trek franchise and are once again ranting on the web to make their voices heard.  In between Abrams's jobs of living long and prospering and letting the force ...

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REVIEW: Frank Serpico, A Man of Integrity, Has Surfaced to Air the NYPD's Dirty Laundry

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 3, 2014 In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Serpico





Directed By: Sidney Lumet

Starring: Al Pacino, John Randolph, Jack Kehoe, Biff McGuire, Barbara Eda-Young, Cornelia Sharpe, and Tony Roberts


"The reality is that we do not wash our own laundry - it just gets dirtier."
-Frank Serpico (Al Pacino)

Since Al Pacino turned 74 recently, I’ve been reflecting on all the cinematic memories this storied veteran of the screen and stage has given us.  Whether telling Fredo to never take sides against the family, telling the crooks of Miami to say hel...

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REVIEW: In The Insider, 60 Minutes Producer Lowell Bergman Challenges Confidentiality Agreements & Tortious Interference for Big Tobacco Whistleblower Jeffrey Wigand

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 23, 2014 In : 0.00% Water 
The Insider





Directed By: Michael Mann


Starring: Al Pacino, Russell Crowe, Christopher Plummer, Diane Venora, Phillip Baker Hall, Lindsay Crouse, Debi Mazar, Gina Gershon, and Michael Gambon


"You pay me to go get guys like Wigand, to draw him out.  To get him to trust us, to get him to go on television.  I do.  I deliver him.  He sits.  He talks.  He violates his own fucking confidentiality agreement.  And he's only the key witness in the biggest public health reform issue, maybe the biggest, mos...

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REVIEW: With 30 Seconds of the Clash Between Cop Vincent Hanna & Robber Neil McCauley, You Know the Flip Side of the Coin Has Just as Much Heat

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 16, 2014 In : 0.00% Water 
Heat





Directed By: Michael Mann

Starring: Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Tom Sizemore, Diane Venora, Amy Brenneman, Ashley Judd, Mykelti Williamson, Wes Studi, Ted Levine, Jon Voight, Val Kilmer, and Natalie Portman

"A guy told me one time, 'Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.'  Now, if you're on me and you gotta move when I move, how do you expect to keep a... a marriage?"
-Neil McCauley (Robert De N...

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REVIEW: With Oppressive Capitalist Pigs, Rehabs, & Splatter Punks, RoboCop 3 Finds Itself Completely Outdated

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 15, 2014 In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
RoboCop 3





Directed By: Fred Dekker


Starring: Robert John Burke, Nancy Allen, Rip Torn, John Castle, Jill Hennessy, Mako, and C. C. H. Pounder


If I thought RoboCop 2 was outdated when it arrived in theaters, you can probably guess what I think about Murphy's third outing in Detroit.  By the time RoboCop 3 arrived in theaters, the science fiction genre had changed forever.  All I need to make my case is that the Tyrannosaurus Rex had already roared on the big screen and elevated our expectations f...

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