REVIEW: Soul Mates Chris & Annie Determine What Dreams May Come on D-Day by What They Paint on the Canvas of the Afterlife

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 30, 2014 In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
What Dreams May Come

Directed By: Vincent Ward

Starring: Robin Williams, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Annabella Sciorra, and Max von Sydow

"Sometimes, when you win, you lose."
-Annie Nielsen (Annabella Sciorra)

As I've listened to different media personalities and fans around the world express their love for Robin Williams this month, they've all mentioned a handful of films they treasure in particular.  They've mentioned films like Good Will Hunting, Dead Poets Society, Mrs. Doubtfire, Aladdin, and Awakeni...

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REVIEW: Catching Balls, Taking L-DOPA, and Moving with Ticks, Leonard's Awakenings Show the Will of the Human Spirit to Dr. Sayer

Posted by James Brown on Friday, August 29, 2014 In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 

Directed By: Penny Marshall

Starring: Robert De Niro, Robin Williams, John Heard, Julie Kavner, Penelope Ann Miller, and Max von Sydow

"His gaze is from the passing of bars so exhausted, that it doesn't hold a thing anymore.  For him, it's as if there were thousands of bars and behind the thousands of bars no world.  The sure stride of lithe, powerful steps, that around the smallest of circles turns, is like a dance of pure energy about a center, in which a great will stands numbed.  ...

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REVIEW: Mrs. Euphegenia Doubtfire — Dude Looks Like a Lady

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, August 10, 2014 In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Mrs. Doubtfire

Directed By: Chris Columbus

Starring: Robin Williams, Sally Field, Lisa Jakub, Matthew Lawrence, Mara Wilson, Pierce Brosnan, and Harvey Fierstein

"They should have a little disclaimer that says ‘Do Not Operate Heavy Machinery While Watching This Show’.  Incredible.  This guy used to put me to sleep when I was a kid.  Amazing.  He has the warmth of a snow pea.  He makes Mister Rogers look like Mick Jagger."
-Daniel Hillard (Robin Williams)

At this point in cinema, I'd argue that...

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REVIEW: Cheer for Dear Old Lean on Me As HNIC Crazy Joe Clark & His Ghosts Resurrect Eastside High & Lead Onto Victory on the Minimum Basic Skills Test

Posted by James Brown on Friday, August 8, 2014 In : 0.00% Water 
Lean On Me

Directed By: John G. Avildsen

Starring: Morgan Freeman, Beverly Todd, Alan North, and Robert Guillaume

"They used to call me Crazy Joe.   Well now they can call me Batman!"
-Joe Clark (Morgan Freeman)

It's hard to believe it's been 25 years since Morgan Freeman gave us one of his most colorful performances to date as Principal Joe Clark in Lean On Me. It's hard to believe that it's been 25 years since a cantankerous Freeman saw the lightning crash, heard the thunder roll, and felt break...

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REVIEW: Ape Management's Use of the Achilles List Guarantees the Conquest of the Planet of the Apes

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, July 13, 2014 In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes

Directed By: J. Lee Thompson

Starring: Roddy McDowall, Don Murray, Ricardo Montalbán, and Natalie Trundy

Caesar (Roddy McDowall): "The King is dead.  Long live the King!  Tell me Breck, before you die - how do we differ from the dogs and cats that you and your kind used to love?  Why did you turn us from pets into slaves?"

Breck (Don Murray): "Because your kind were once our ancestors.  Because man was born of apes, and there's still an ape curled up inside of ...

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REVIEW: With Time Travel, A Presidential Commission, & A Pregnant Zira, Escape from the Planet of the Apes Scoffs at Conventional Narrative Wisdom

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, July 13, 2014 In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Escape from the Planet of the Apes

Directed By: Don Taylor

Starring: Roddy McDowall, Kim Hunter, Bradford Dillman, Natalie Trundy, Eric Braeden, Sal Mineo, and Ricardo Montalbán

Beneath the Planet of the Apes has a pretty definitive conclusion.  After all, just about everybody dies.  The film's explosive ending could not kill Hollywood's addiction to sequels, however.  Studio execs somehow resurrect the series and march onward.  This is some pretty unbelievable stuff for the early 70s.  This se...

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REVIEW: In Beneath the Planet of the Apes, Doomsday Nears for This Green & Insignificant Planet Thanks to the Telepaths' Alpha Omega Bomb

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, June 22, 2014 In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Beneath the Planet of the Apes

Directed By: Ted Post

Starring: James Franciscus, Kim Hunter, Maurice Evans, Linda Harrison, and Charlton Heston

As I watched Planet of the Apes once again, it reminded me just how bold Rise of the Planet of the Apes and its upcoming sequel Dawn of the Planet of the Apes really are.  In Planet of the Apes and its sequels, the apocalypse has come and gone.  In these newer prequels, we're focusing squarely on the turbulent times that lead to mankind's downfall, which...

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REVIEW: On the Upside Down Planet of the Apes, Bright Eyes Deviant Taylor Wants the Damned Dirty Apes to Get Their Stinking Paws Off Him

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, June 19, 2014 In : 0.00% Water 
Planet of the Apes

Directed By: Franklin J. Schaffner

Starring: Charlton Heston, Roddy McDowall, Maurice Evans, Kim Hunter, James Whitmore, James Daly, and Linda Harrison

"Beware the beast Man, for he is the Devil's pawn.  Alone among God's primates, he kills for sport or lust or greed.  Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land.  Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours.  Shun him; drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the ...

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REVIEW: Justice Is Not Served in Hell's Kitchen by the Blind Lawyer Daredevil, the Man With No Fear

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, June 15, 2014 In : 0.09% Cocktails 

Directed By: Mark Steven Johnson

Starring: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, Michael Clarke Duncan, Colin Farrell, Joe Pantoliano, Jon Favreau, and David Keith

We've got a lot of big superhero movies in 2014 and 2015, including the likes of The Amazing Spider-Man 2, X-Men: Days of Future Past, Guardians of the Galaxy, and The Avengers: Age of Ultron.  Still, moviegoers seem to have their eyes fixated on the Zack Snyder's Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice, which is still two years away. ...

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REVIEW: With Aliens, Rubik's Cubes, and Operation Walking Distance, Super 8 is One Cool Throwback Sci-Fi Flick

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 3, 2014 In : 0.00% Water 
Super 8

Directed By: J. J. Abrams

Starring: Joel Courtney, Elle Fanning, Kyle Chandler, Riley Griffiths, Ryan Lee, and Ron Eldard

The Internet is abuzz with talk about the casting for J.J. Abrams's Star Wars: Episode VII.  Expectedly, some Trekkies are still discontent with the fact that Abrams turned to the dark side by ditching the Star Trek franchise and are once again ranting on the web to make their voices heard.  In between Abrams's jobs of living long and prospering and letting the force ...

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