REVIEW: The Alan Partridge & Pat Farrell Radio Show & Siege Is Predicated Upon the Words "Just Sack Pat"

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 20, 2014 In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Alan Partridge: The Movie (Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa)





Directed By: Declan Lowney

Starring: Steve Coogan and Colm Meaney


It's been a rather sparse year for the comedy genre as a whole.  The only good one to have arrived at the box office this year is Wes Anderson's The Grand Budapest Hotel.  Considering about a third of the year is now in our collective rearview mirror, having just one notable comedy is not saying much at all.  With the summer movie season looming, there's always hope that some ...

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REVIEW: Given the Contaminated O Negative Zombie Blood in Detroit & Tangier, Only Vampire Lovers Adam & Eve Are Left Alive

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 20, 2014 In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Only Lovers Left Alive





Directed By: Jim Jarmusch

Starring: Tom Hiddleston, Tilda Swinton, Mia Wasikowska, Anton Yelchin, John Hurt, and Jeffrey Wright

When it comes to movies, I love to be proven wrong.  I'm happy when a movie exceeds my expectations (provided that it's good).  I'm happy when a movie is not what I envisioned and is something different (better) altogether.  One thing I've noticed is that this happens far more often in independent cinema than mainstream.  I guess that shouldn't be...

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REVIEW: Thanks to a Map, a Radio, & Hellacious Torture, Railway Man Eric Lomax & Japanese Interpreter Takashi Nagase Become Good Friends

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 20, 2014 In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
The Railway Man





Directed By: Jonathan Teplitzky


Starring: Colin Firth, Nicole Kidman, Jeremy Irvine, Stellan Skarsgård, Hiroyuki Sanada, and Tanroh Ishida


At the beginning of time the clock struck one
Then dropped the dew and the clock struck two
From the dew grew a tree and the clock struck three
The tree made a door and the clock struck four
Man came alive and the clock struck five
Count not, waste not the years on the clock
Behold I stand at the door and knock.

-Eric Lomax (Colin Firth)

If any...

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REVIEW: Spoofing The Conjuring & Insidious: Chapter 2, A Haunted House 2 Pathetically Sexes Abigail the Doll & Satirizes Demon Agouhl

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, April 19, 2014 In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
A Haunted House 2





Directed By: Michael Tiddes


Starring: Marlon Wayans, Jaime Pressly, Essence Atkins, Gabriel Iglesias, and Cedric the Entertainer

I've been loathing this weekend on my review calendar for quite some time, for quite some time.  I knew that the completely unwarranted follow-up to Marlon Wayans's A Haunted House would be arriving in theaters on this weekend.  I knew that a horrendous, trashy film was on my docket.  I knew that I'd be a simultaneously embarrassed and pissed off movi...

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REVIEW: Creating a R.I.F.T. in Academia with the Artificial Intelligence Pinn, Will & Evelyn Caster Don’t Take Transcendence to the Next Level at Brightwood

Posted by James Brown on Friday, April 18, 2014 In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Transcendence





Directed By: Wally Pfister

Starring: Johnny Depp, Morgan Freeman, Rebecca Hall, Kate Mara, Cillian Murphy, Cole Hauser, and Paul Bettany


The last couple of years haven't been terribly awesome for iconic movie star Johnny Depp.  Dark Shadows and The Lone Ranger weren't exactly box office successes beloved by audiences worldwide.  In fact, they were duds that cost their respective studios hundreds of millions of dollars.  With this in mind, I wouldn't exactly have high box office hop...

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REVIEW: For Crossroads Wesleyan Church Pastor Todd Burpo Heaven Is for Real When the Angels Sing to His Son Colton Like the Lion, the Bear & the Unicorn

Posted by James Brown on Friday, April 18, 2014 In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Heaven Is for Real





Directed By: Randall Wallace


Starring: Greg Kinnear, Kelly Reilly, Connor Corum, Jacob Vargas, Nancy Sorel, Thomas Haden Church, and Margo Martindale

It's been a big year for Christian moviegoers.  Though many balked at the prospect of Darren Aronofsky's biblical epic Noah, there have been a slew of other religious films aimed at churchgoing viewers.  Back in February, Jesus performed a miracle or two in Son of God.  In the month of March, Hercules became an atheist to debate ...

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REVIEW: Unlucky S.O.B. Dom Hemingway, a Man With No Options, Suddenly Has All the Options in the World When the Pendulum of Luck Swings His Way

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 13, 2014 In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Dom Hemingway





Directed By: Richard Shepard

Starring: Jude Law, Richard E. Grant, Demián Bichir, Emilia Clarke, Kerry Condon, Jumayn Hunter, and Mãdãlina Diana Ghenea

"Oh.  I'll tell you who I am.  I'm the f*cker who'll tear your nose off with my teeth.  I'm the f*cker who will gut you with a dull cheese knife and sing Gilbert and Sullivan while I do it.  I'm the f*cker who'll dump your dead body in a freezing cold lake and watch you sink to the bottom like so much shit.  I am that f*cker.  Th...

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REVIEW: In Under the Skin, Hot Alien Scarlett Johansson Seduces the Men of Scotland Into Her Pool of Black Tar-Like Liquid

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 13, 2014 In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Under the Skin





Directed By: Jonathan Glazer


Starring: Scarlett Johansson

It's been quite a while since we've had a weird one at the indie box office.  There was no movie like Holy Motors or The Paperboy in 2013 to leave me utterly baffled by what transpired on the big screen.  Thus far, I can mostly say the same thing about 2014.  No filmmaker has tested the limits of moviegoers' tolerance for the bizarre or disgusting this year.  One movie this spring comes close to doing so, however.  That's J...

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REVIEW: Thanks to the Lasser Glass in Oculus, Tim and Kaylie Confront Their' Bloody, Troubled Childhood Right in the Mirror

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 13, 2014 In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Oculus





Directed By: Mike Flanagan

Starring: Katee Sackhoff, Karen Gillan, Brenton Thwaites, Rory Cochrane, Annalise Basso, and Garrett Ryan

In the horror department, 2014 has some big shoes to fill.  In the wake of a diverse slate of films back in 2013 including You're Next, The Conjuring, and The Purge, scary movie lovers rightfully have some pretty high expectations.  Considering flicks like Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones and Devil's Due, this year's entries into the genre have missed th...

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REVIEW: Rio 2 – A Music-Filled Blue Macaw Romp In The Amazon That Falls Short

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, April 12, 2014 In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Rio 2
SoberFilmChick




Directed by: Carlos Saldanha

Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Anne Hathaway, Leslie Mann, Bruno Mars, Jermaine Clement, George Lopez, Jamie Foxx, will.i.am, Rita Moreno, Tracy Morgan, and Andy Garcia

Computer animated films are a dime a dozen at this point.  In the “olden” days, one or two animated films would be released in a given year.  However, studios have seized on the economic potential of family friendly animated films and are rolling out computer animated films with in...

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