REVIEW: With Wine, Weed, & Sex, This Movie Isn't Quite All About Alex or the Dog Named Timmy

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 16, 2014 In : 0.09% Cocktails 
About Alex





Directed By: Jesse Zwick

Starring: Aubrey Plaza, Max Greenfield, Maggie Grace, Jason Ritter, Jane Levy, Nate Parker, and Max Minghella

My fellow Millennials have been making quite a few movies about what it's like to make that full adjustment into adulthood.  To some extent, the wild party movie Neighbors serves up some satirical commentary on the transition from a carefree twentysomething to married life with children.  The recent romantic comedy What If humorously explores the chall...

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REVIEW: The Knife Before Christmas Doctor Death, Galgo & Conrad Snowbanks Can't Quite Rescue The Deletable Expendables 3

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 16, 2014 In : 0.09% Cocktails 
The Expendables 3





Directed By: Patrick Hughes


Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Antonio Banderas, Jet Li, Wesley Snipes, Dolph Lundgren, Kelsey Grammer, Randy Couture, Terry Crews, Kellan Lutz, Ronda Rousey, Glen Powell, Victor Ortiz, Robert Davi, Mel Gibson, Harrison Ford, and Arnold Schwarzenegger


There comes a time when retirement is no longer a luxury but a duty, particularly when one's line of work demands a certain physicality.  Professional wrestling, a young man's game, has so...

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REVIEW: Whether a Backstreet Boys Patrolman or Brothers in Blue, I Don't Want Let's Be Cops Either Way

Posted by James Brown on Friday, August 15, 2014 In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Let's Be Cops





Directed By: Luke Greenfield

Starring: Jake Johnson, Damon Wayans, Jr., Rob Riggle, Nina Dobrev, James D'Arcy, and Andy Garcia

Parleying success on the small screen into success on the big screen can be a daunting task.  There's a big difference between holding viewers' attention for 30 or 60 minutes with commercial breaks and holding it for two hours straight. Sure, there are plenty of examples to the contrary including the likes of Jamie Foxx, Martin Lawrence, and Will Smith.  St...

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REVIEW: Using My Precise Language, Thank You to The Giver & Jonas The Receiver of Memories For Your Childhood & Lack of Sameness

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, August 13, 2014 In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
The Giver





Directed By: Phillip Noyce

Starring: Jeff Bridges, Meryl Streep, Brenton Thwaites, Alexander Skarsgård, Odeya Rush, Katie Holmes, Taylor Swift, Cameron Monaghan, Jordan Nicholas Smal, and Saige Fernandes

Though the Chief Elder is preparing to thank the members of the Community for their childhood when The Giver arrives in theaters later this week, I want to take a moment to thank a special someone for my childhood.  I will forever remember that I was at a screening of The Giver when I...

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REVIEW: Since It's Shocking to Kill a Good Priest, Calvary Is All About Brendan Gleeson's Father James Lavelle Dodging Death

Posted by James Brown on Monday, August 11, 2014 In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Calvary





Directed By: John Michael McDonagh


Starring: Brendan Gleeson, Chris O'Dowd, Kelly Reilly, Aidan Gillen, and Dylan Moran


"Do not despair; one of the thieves was saved.
Do not presume; one of the thieves was damned.

-St. Augustine

The Catholic Church has had a serious scandal on its hands for more than a decade now.  The atrocities done to innocent children over the years will haunt the victims for the remainder of their lives and the church until the end of its days.  That being said, the...

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REVIEW: In The Hundred-Foot Journey, Chef Hassan Turns Food Into Memories & A Michelin Star When He Makes Madame Mallory an Omelet

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, August 10, 2014 In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
The Hundred-Foot Journey





Directed By: Lasse Halström

Starring: Helen Mirren, Om Puri, Manish Dayal, and Charlotte Le Bon

There aren't a whole lot of fictional movies out there about the culinary arts.  Jon Favreau's Chef was a breath of fresh air earlier this summer.  Julie & Julia and Ratatouille also come to mind when I reflect on the past decade, but not much else.  Cooking-themed movies are a rare cinematic delight that must be savored.  That's why I came to this weekend's The Hundred-Foot ...

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REVIEW: What If Friends Wallace & Chantry Share Elvis's Fool's Gold Sandwich?

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, August 10, 2014 In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
What If (The F Word)





Directed By: Michael Dowse

Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Zoe Kazan, Megan Park, Adam Driver, Mackenzie Davis, and Rafe Spall


I'm not a perfect model of health, but sometimes we invite health issues with the things we consume.  Take famed balladeer Luther Vandross.  During his lifetime, the R&B singer concocted a devilish delight known as the Luther Burger (also known as the doughnut burger).  This hamburger / cheeseburger is slapped right between two Krispy Kreme doughnuts rat...

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REVIEW: I'd Rather Shovel Sheep's Poop Than Watch Dance Crew LMNTRIX Step Up All In for Alexxa Brava's The Vortex on VH1

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 9, 2014 In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Step Up All In





Directed By: Trish Sie

Starring: Ryan Guzman, Briana Evigan, Misha Gabriel, Adam Sevani, Alyson Stoner, Mari Koda, Christopher Scott, and Luis Rosado

The life of a dancer is not easy.  I know this because the Step Up series has beaten this message over moviegoers' heads four times before.  That's why this weekend's Step Up All In is simply déjà vu.  We've seen it all before, again and again and again.  Strangely enough, this latest installment puts me in the mindset of the wizar...

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REVIEW: With Cameras Recording Time Capsules, The Tornado-Chasing Titus Team Wades Pointlessly Into the Storm at Silverton High School

Posted by James Brown on Friday, August 8, 2014 In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Into the Storm





Directed By: Steven Quale

Starring: Richard Armitage, Sarah Wayne Callies, Matt Walsh, Alycia Debnam-Carey, Max Deacon, Nathan Kress, and Arien Escarpeta

Like clockwork, the month of August routinely amounts to a cesspool of cinematic mediocrity.  This weekend is quickly proving to be the ultimate example of this.  Despite four movies arriving at the mainstream box office this weekend, I'm not impressed with a single new arrival.  Unfortunately, this is likely to hold true for the...

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REVIEW: When She Discovers Project Renaissance, the Foot Clan, & Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, April O'Neil Swaps Mutagen for Foam & Froth

Posted by James Brown on Friday, August 8, 2014 In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Buck Buck)





Directed By: Jonathan Liebesman


Starring: Megan Fox, Pete Ploszek, Alan Ritchson, Noel Fisher, Jeremy Howard, William Fichtner, Danny Woodburn, Will Arnett, Johnny Knoxville, Tony Shalhoub, and Whoopi Goldberg


The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are a staple of my childhood.  Phrases like "Turtle Power!" and "Cowabunga!" are etched in my memory for all time.  That's why I cringed when I learned that Michael Bay was involved in the reboot of the film series. ...

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