Scary Movie 4

Directed By: David Zucker

Starring: Anna Faris, Regina Hall, Craig Bierko, Bill Pullman, Anthony Anderson, Carmen Electra, Chris Elliott, Kevin Hart, Cloris Leachman, Michael Madsen, Phil McGraw, Leslie Nielsen, Shaquille O'Neal, and Molly Shannon

I will always regard Scary Movie 2 as one of the worst movies of all time, but Scary Movie 4 is not far behind it.  Spoofing The Grudge, The Village, and War of the Worlds, David Zucker shows that he’s great at limbo because his second foray into horror parody descends to some disturbing new lows.  Every time I think he can't manage to get more distasteful and more revolting, he shows me how low he can really go.  Before I really get started with this review, I can already assure you that shots are needed for this one.  Scary Movie 4 sucks.

Shaquille O'Neal (self) and Dr. Phil (self) meet a deadly end when Billy the Puppet locks them in a room and pumps nerve gas into the air.  Meanwhile, Cindy (Anna Faris) is dealing with the life of being a lonely widow with an empty nest.  Her husband George (Simon Rex) has passed away, and her nephew Cody is away at school.  She goes to New York to visit her brother-in-law Tom Logan (Charlie Sheen).  Despite the fact that he's suicidal and not of much help to her, Cindy manages to occupy herself by getting to know her neighbor Tom Ryan (Craig Bierko).  She even finds a new job taking care of an elderly woman by the name of Ms. Loris (Cloris Leachman).  Soon, however, Cindy will realize that there's a supernatural presence in the Loris home that's somehow related to Billy the Puppet and his reign of terror on Shaq and Dr. Phil.

I can't tell you enough how much Scary Movie 4 sucks.  This movie pushed me to my limits as a moviegoer.  The thought that ran through my mind throughout most of this movie was "God help me!"  Scary Movie 4 is abhorrently tasteless from start to finish.  I can't think of one damn thing in this movie that's even slightly amusing.  The satire is nonexistent.  The actors are annoying as hell.  All in all, I regret this movie was ever made.  It's a resounding embarrassment for American cinema as a whole.

There's a thin line between crude humor and revolting nonsense, and David Zucker proudly struts right over that line.  The attempts at humor throughout this fourth installment in the never-ending Scary Movie franchise all fail miserably.  Spoofing films like The Grudge, Saw, The Village, and War of the Worlds, there are plenty of opportunities for reasonable parody, but Zucker takes this film straight to the trashiest levels of tastelessness.  The scene that embodies this best is the spoof of Clint Eastwood's Million Dollar Baby.  How much discretion must you lack to repeatedly make fun of an injury that paralyzed a woman from the neck down?  While Million Dollar Baby is only a movie, it broaches some serious subjects, ones that shouldn't be subjected to such degrading, simplistic setups that are in no way akin to real satire.

The actors embarrass themselves throughout this nonsense masquerading as a movie called Scary Movie 4.  Anna Faris again shows how irritatingly stupid her character Cindy can be.  Regina Hall takes her character Brenda back to whorish lows we haven't seen since Scary Movie 2.  Reprising their roles from Scary Movie 3 as Mahalik and CJ, Anthony Anderson and Kevin Hart bring shame to black comedians everywhere in their disgusting spoof of Brokeback Mountain.  Zucker even brings back Chris Elliott, though he's not quite as disgusting as he was in Scary Movie 2.  The saddest part of it all is that Leslie Nielsen mysteriously returns to the franchise.  The Airplane! star is above all this nonsense and deserves much better for one of the final films of his career.

It's pretty obvious that Scary Movie 4 is a detestable film that's going to join a very "special" group of movies.  This spoof flick has no redeeming qualities whatsoever.  There aren't too many movies that can turn images of amoeba/sperm into oversexed trash.  Scary Movie 4 is so bad that I'm going to recommend you make some moonshine and get wasted with the product of your hard work to get through it.