Scary Movie 3

Directed By: David Zucker

Starring: Anna Faris, Simon Rex, Charlie Sheen, Leslie Nielsen, Anthony Anderson, Kevin Hart, Camryn Manheim, George Carlin, Pamela Anderson, Jenny McCarthy, Drew Mikuska, Jianna Ballard, Denise Richards, and Regina Hall

It suffices to say that I don't have a whole lot of love for the Scary Movie franchise.  Who can blame me though?  I think of Cindy, Brenda, Shorty, and Ray, and I remember some of the most nightmarishly awful cinematic experiences of my life.  More often than not, we’re suffering through some oversexed trash that the cast and crew have tried to pass as genuine satire.  Obviously, my feelings on the franchise aren't going to change anytime soon.  That being said, Scary Movie 3 isn't as horrendous as other installments in the series.

Katy (Jenny McCarthy) and Becka (Pamela Anderson) are having a girls’ night in the house conversing about some sex tape.  It turns out that the tape is actually cursed, and the silicone-loving girls end up somehow watching it.  Shortly thereafter, they're mysteriously killed.  Sometime later at a farm not too far from DC, widower and former reverend Tom Logan (Charlie Sheen) and his brother George (Simon Rex) inspect their corn crops and find a crop circle with a cryptic sign that reads "Attack Here".  It's now abundantly clear that someone is coming.  Whoever it is will not be bringing gifts.

Now several years after the events at Hell House, Cindy Campbell (Anna Faris) is working as a reporter at a news studio in the DC area.  She now takes care of her nephew Cody (Drew Mikuska).  When Cindy goes to pick up Cody from school one day, she finds a familiar face as well as a new one.  It just so happens that her old friend Brenda (Regina Hall) is Cody's teacher, and farmer George Logan has a niece enrolled in her nephew's class.  Surprisingly delighted to see her old friend and instantly enamored with her new one, Cindy takes Brenda along with her to a rap battle where George intends to show her his skills on the mic.  Meanwhile, someone else will fall victim to the deadly tape, and aliens prepare to launch an attack on Earth.

Scary Movie 3 may not be the worst horror parody through which I've ever suffered, but it's not the best either.  Spoofing The Ring and Signs, David Zucker finds himself offering some genuinely funny satire along with the traditional tasteless humor of a Scary Movie flick.  To make things even better, there are plenty of fun cameos as well.  All in all, the Scary Movie franchise gets just a little bit of its mojo back in this third outing.

Unlike Scary Movie 2, this Scary Movie flick goes back to the basics.  It makes fun of the movies of its day, not The Exorcist or The Amityville Horror. It tackles a number of recent films from a variety of genres.  From the crop circles in Signs to the rap battle in 8 Mile, David Zucker and his cast get in some good comedic jabs at the blockbusters of 2002 and 2003.  However, the movie hits a low point when it tries to parody The Matrix, especially when they tinker with Morpheus's (Eddie Griffin) relationship with the Oracle (Queen Latifah) a bit too much.  Spoofs can make fun of a series, but they have to stay true to the original to some degree.

Scary Movie 3 has plenty of great cameos as well.  Jenny McCarthy and Pamela Anderson show just how dumb some blondes can really be.  Simon Cowell drops into the rap battle to dish out some of his trademark biting commentary on how terrible it is.  An entourage of rappers including Master P, RZA, and Method Man come to the rescue and prove that the hood has always got your back.  These are all solid cameos that bring quite a bit of levity to the film.  On the flip side, I was less than impressed with George Carlin's bit role as the Architect (The Matrix Reloaded).

Scary Movie 3 has its hits and misses, but it is a substantial improvement from Scary Movie 2.  While it has plenty of hilarious jokes and antics, it offers equally as many disgusting, grotesque moments.  Given my mixed feelings toward this spoof movie, Scary Movie 3 gets a 0.09% rating.  Have some Cosmopolitans with this one.