Step Up 3D

Directed By: Jon Chu

Starring: Rick Malambri, Adam Sevani, Sharni Vinson, and Alyson Stoner

"I dance because dance can change things.  One move can set a whole generation free like Elvis.  One move can make you believe like there's something more...and some moves can give a skinny, curly-haired kid, that just wants to dance, some hope."
-Moose (Adam Sevani)

Dance may give Moose hope, but I've lost all hope for the Step Up franchise. As I continue this retro series, director Jon Chu keeps finding new ways to torture me.  With Step Up 3D, the filmmakers decided to add a new dimension to all their nonsense.  Now, you'll feel like you're actually in this crappy excuse for a movie.  Like every other creative decision in the series, the use of 3D will only serve as a distraction from the film's many, many flaws. 

Moose (Sevani) and his best friend Camille (Alyson Stoner) have finally left Baltimore and are now freshmen at NYU.  An electrical engineering major, Moose has promised his father (Frank Moran) that he will put childish things aside and stop dancing.  He holds that promise for about 30 seconds, after which he finds himself in a battle with Kid Darkness (Daniel Campos), a member of the House of Samurai dance crew.  Moose beats Kid Darkness handily.

After witnessing this battle, a guy named Luke (Rick Malambri) befriends Moose and introduces him to the House of Pirates, a rival dance crew to the Samurais.  As the leader of the Pirates, Luke invites Moose to join them and compete in a contest at World Jam.  Naturally, Moose accepts the offer.  As Moose makes the Pirates more of a priority in his life, school and his friendship/relationship with Camille get the shaft.  Meanwhile, Luke meets a girl named Natalie (Sharni Vinson) at a club one night while filming her dancing.  They instantly connect and start dating.  Luke also asks her to join the Pirates, and she does so eagerly.  What he doesn't know is that Natalie is the sister of Julien (Joe Slaughter), the leader of the House of Samurai.

Every time I watch a Step Up film, I think it can't get any worse than its predecessors.  Somehow, it always does.  Director Jon Chu has completely given up on the concept of making a coherent, worthwhile film.  Chu wastes every opportunity to tell a good story off the dance floor.  He forces unnecessary romances into the film.  He makes Step Up 3D anything but believable.  The only positive thing about this film is the dancing.  There's no movie off the dance floor.

Beyond the poor filmmaking that plagues Step Up 3D, there are so many things that just don't make sense and reflect poor writing.  After Moose battles Kid Darkness in a battle and joins the House of Pirates, the House of Samurai follows him into the bathroom and begins a battle there.  Following another guy into the bathroom to dance is pretty sketchy, inexplicable behavior.  The first encounter between Luke and Natalie gives off creepy, nonsensical vibes as well.  A guy meets a girl in a club by recording her dancing with a camera.  In a nutshell, Luke is walking around a club with a video camera, and he's filming people he doesn't know.  Do I need to say more?

Step Up 3D is one of the worst films I have ever seen in my life.  There is no way in hell you could ever get me to watch this crap again.  I would need some moonshine to numb the pain.  Step Up 3D gets a wasted rating.