Showing category "0.09% Cocktails" (Show all posts)

REVIEW: Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones – Anakin Rejects The Role Of The Young Padawan As The Galactic Republic Faces The Dark Side

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Thursday, September 11, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

Directed by:  George Lucas

Starring: Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christensen, Natalie Portman, Ian McDiarmid, Samuel L. Jackson, Christopher Lee, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker, and Frank Oz

With the release of a new Star Wars film imminent, Sobriety Test Movie Reviews continues its retro review series of Episodes I through VI.  Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones marked the second installment in the tale of Anakin Skywalker’s desce...

Continue reading ...

REVIEW: Ape Management's Use of the Achilles List Guarantees the Conquest of the Planet of the Apes

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, July 13, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes

Directed By: J. Lee Thompson

Starring: Roddy McDowall, Don Murray, Ricardo Montalbán, and Natalie Trundy

Caesar (Roddy McDowall): "The King is dead.  Long live the King!  Tell me Breck, before you die - how do we differ from the dogs and cats that you and your kind used to love?  Why did you turn us from pets into slaves?"

Breck (Don Murray): "Because your kind were once our ancestors.  Because man was born of apes, and there's still an ape curled up inside of ...

Continue reading ...

REVIEW: Justice Is Not Served in Hell's Kitchen by the Blind Lawyer Daredevil, the Man With No Fear

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, June 15, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails 

Directed By: Mark Steven Johnson

Starring: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, Michael Clarke Duncan, Colin Farrell, Joe Pantoliano, Jon Favreau, and David Keith

We've got a lot of big superhero movies in 2014 and 2015, including the likes of The Amazing Spider-Man 2, X-Men: Days of Future Past, Guardians of the Galaxy, and The Avengers: Age of Ultron.  Still, moviegoers seem to have their eyes fixated on the Zack Snyder's Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice, which is still two years away. ...

Continue reading ...

REVIEW: With Nuke on the Streets & A Kid Running the Drug Scene, RoboCop 2 Is No Lethal Response to Its Predecessor

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 9, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
RoboCop 2

Directed By: Irvin Kershner

Starring: Peter Weller, Nancy Allen, Dan O'Herlihy, Belinda Bauer, Tom Noonan, and Gabriel Damon

As I revisit the RoboCop series, I have mixed feelings.  I loved the original movie, but I have no love whatsoever for its two sequels.  In the case of RoboCop, Hollywood butchered yet another blockbuster series with these sequels.  The proof is in the pudding.  Just look at the second RoboCop movie.  Lacking consistency, coherence, and creativity, RoboCop 2 is a...

Continue reading ...

REVIEW: In Out of Africa, Baroness Karen Blixen and Game Hunter Denys Finch Hatton Fail to Enchant Us With Their Romance

Posted by James Brown on Monday, December 23, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Out of Africa

Directed By: Sydney Pollack

Starring: Meryl Streep, Robert Redford, and Klaus Maria Brandauer

Don't take too much stock in which film wins the Academy Award for Best Picture.  The Oscars are political, and the winners often reflect this rather than a more qualitative assessment of the films released each year.  Given this, the cinematic popularity contest often gets it wrong.  How else could you make the case that Slumdog Millionaire topped The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (and ...

Continue reading ...

REVIEW: Whether Kuekuatsu, the Trickster, or the Moon, Wolverine Does a Disservice to the X-Men Franchise in His Origin Story

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, July 24, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Directed By: Gavin Hood

Starring: Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Danny Huston, Dominic Monaghan, Ryan Reynolds, Kevin Durand,, Taylor Kitsch, and Lynn Collins

"I come with you, I'm coming for blood.  No law, no code of conduct.  You point me in the right direction, and you get the hell out of my way."
-Logan (Hugh Jackman)

Hugh Jackman is perfect to play the Wolverine.  The only better casting of a superhero in the history of comic book movies is Robert Downey, Jr...

Continue reading ...

REVIEW: Spoofing Signs and The Ring, Scary Movie 3 Makes It Clear That the Hood Has Always Got Your Back

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, April 11, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Scary Movie 3

Directed By: David Zucker

Starring: Anna Faris, Simon Rex, Charlie Sheen, Leslie Nielsen, Anthony Anderson, Kevin Hart, Camryn Manheim, George Carlin, Pamela Anderson, Jenny McCarthy, Drew Mikuska, Jianna Ballard, Denise Richards, and Regina Hall

It suffices to say that I don't have a whole lot of love for the Scary Movie franchise.  Who can blame me though?  I think of Cindy, Brenda, Shorty, and Ray, and I remember some of the most nightmarishly awful cinematic experiences of my l...

Continue reading ...

REVIEW: Win Win is So-So

Posted by Zach Davis on Tuesday, April 9, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Win Win
Zach Davis

Directed by: Thomas McCarthy

Starring: Paul Giamatti, Amy Ryan, Alex Shaffer, Bobby Cannavale, Jeffrey Tambor, Burt Young, and Melanie Lynskey

I’m a fan of Thomas McCarthy’s two previous works, The Visitor and The Station Agent, but Win Win just doesn't work for me.  McCarthy is much more a writer than a director.  He relies heavily on original down-to-earth characters in most of his films, and this is exactly what Win Win sorely lacks.  The characters are all disingenuous....

Continue reading ...

REVIEW: Love Sucks. So Does St. Elmo's Fire.

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 5, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails 

St. Elmo's Fire

Directed By: Joel Schumacher

Starring: Emilio Estevez, Rob Lowe, Andrew McCarthy, Demi Moore, Judd Nelson, Ally Sheedy, and Mare Winningham

"[T]his isn't real. You know what it is? It's St. Elmo's Fire. Electric flashes of light that appear in dark skies out of nowhere. Sailors would guide entire journeys by it, but the joke was on them... there was no fire. There wasn't even a St. Elmo. They made it up. They made it up because they thought they needed it to keep them going whe...

Continue reading ...

REVIEW: While Love and Fame Can't Live in the Same Place, Country Music and Liquor Can in Country Strong

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 30, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 

Country Strong

Directed By: Shana Feste

Starring: Gwyneth Paltrow, Tim McGraw, Garrett Hedlund, and Leighton Meester

I'm definitely not the world's biggest country music fan.  In fact, I don't even know who today's top country singers are, and I can't name a famous country song off the top of my head.  I'm simply not that interested in the genre.  However, this doesn't mean that I can't appreciate a good tune or even watch a movie about the country music industry.  What I do know is how to r...

Continue reading ...

REVIEW: The Bodyguard is a Bad Mix of Business and Pleasure

Posted by James Brown on Monday, September 17, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 

The Bodyguard

Directed By: Mick Jackson

Starring: Kevin Costner, Whitney Houston, Gary Kemp, and Bill Cobbs

Earlier this year, we lost the renowned Whitney Houston.  We lost a music icon who embodied an era of pop music.  We lost a world-class singer who also dabbled in acting from time to time.  We lost a legend.  With that in mind, it's important to revisit her filmography as well as her discography.  While she currently stars in the film Sparkle, she will be remembered most as an actress ...

Continue reading ...

REVIEW: Step Up Needs to Find Its Groove

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, July 10, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Step Up

Directed By: Anne Fletcher and Mico Heltborg

Starring: Channing Tatum, Jenna Dewan, Mario, Drew Sidora, Alyson Stoner, Rachel Griffiths, and Josh Henderson

Every time I begin to wonder why Hollywood keeps shoveling crap into theaters, I'm reminded that we keep buying it for some strange reason.  I can think of no better example than the Step Up movies.  By any measure, these films suck, but people keep buying tickets to see them for whatever reason.  Ultimately, our lack of good taste a...
Continue reading ...

REVIEW: Alien 3 is Not a Scary Movie. The Bitch is Back For a Group Therapy Session

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, May 31, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Alien 3

Directed By: David Fincher

Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Charles S. Dutton, Charles Dance, Brian Glover, Ralph Brown, Paul McGann, Danny Webb, Pete Postlethwaite, Lance Henriksen, Leon Herbert, and Peter Guinness

The biggest problem plaguing the Alien franchise is that there is no central vision for the series.  There's nobody steering the ship aside from profit-oriented studio execs.  There's no director that has made more than a single installment in the franchise.  While this worked ear...
Continue reading ...

REVIEW: Men in Black II — Needs Work Fellows, Needs Work

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Friday, May 25, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Men in Black II

Directed By: Barry Sonnenfeld

Starring: Tommy Lee Jones, Will Smith, Lara Flynn Boyle, Johnny Knoxville, Rosario Dawson, Tony Shalhoub, Patrick Warburton, and Rip Torn

In part 2 of our retro review series on the Men in Black franchise, we turn to Men in Black II.  The original Men in Black film is a creative, smart science fiction comedy.  However, as I watched Men in Black II, all that came to mind was a line from the movie Lean on Me.  There is a scene in the film...
Continue reading ...

REVIEW: In the Matter of Meryl Streep Vs. Goldie Hawn in Death Becomes Her, Nobody Wins

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, May 17, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Death Becomes Her

Directed By: Robert Zemeckis

Starring: Meryl Streep, Goldie Hawn, and Bruce Willis

Hollywood has always been obsessed with beauty, whether it's real or not.  That's why Los Angeles is the home of many, many plastic surgeons.  Though these surgeons are well paid, I would imagine they have to march to the tunes of their often-wealthy clientele.  Until I saw Robert Zemeckis' Death Becomes Her, I never thought about how nerve-wrecking that could be at times.
Actress Madeline Ashton...
Continue reading ...

REVIEW: Reese Witherspoon & Robert Pattinson are Fodder for the Romance Water for Elephants

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, April 25, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Water for Elephants

Directed By: Francis Lawrence

Starring: Reese Witherspoon, Robert Pattinson, and Christoph Waltz

The circus is a truly magical place.  We all have fond memories of it being where the eccentric becomes the exceptional and the impossible becomes the incredible.  It's a place where freaks become deities.  For many kids, it can be the most spectacular place on Earth.  As great as the circus is, there's one thing it isn't—a particularly romantic place.  How many peo...
Continue reading ...

REVIEW: Hulk Is Nowhere Near As Incredible As It Could Be. Are You Getting Angry?

Posted by James Brown on Monday, April 16, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 

Directed By: Ang Lee

Starring: Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Sam Elliott, Josh Lucas, and Nick Nolte

Back in 2003, we were just getting started in this era of annual big budget action flicks featuring superheroes from Marvel Comics.  With the successes of X-Men, Spider-Man, and X2: X-Men United, everybody was expecting Hulk to do big things.  In the 2003 film Hulk, we wanted to see the big green angry man be incredible on the big screen.  Unfortunately, director Ang Lee takes us on a tour o...
Continue reading ...

REVIEW: Clash of the Titans Is a Clash Between Great Action and Bad Acting

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, March 27, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Clash of the Titans

Directed By: Louis Leterrier

Starring: Sam Worthington, Gemma Arterton, Mads Mikkelsen, Alexa Davalos, Ralph Fiennes, and Liam Neeson

With Wrath of the Titans being released this weekend, it's the perfect time to revisit the 2010 remake that started it all.  When the movie hit theaters a couple of years ago, it got panned by critics.  Nonetheless, the movie made big bucks at the office.  With studio execs having fatter wallets, there was no doubt that there was going to be a ...
Continue reading ...

REVIEW: Something Borrowed Is Something Worth Skipping

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 3, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Something Borrowed

Directed By: Luke Greenfield

Starring: Ginnifer Goodwin, Kate Hudson, John Krasinki, Colin Egglesfield, Steve Howey, and Ashley Williams

With all the big films that came out last year, a lot of smaller movies got swept under the rug.  For every Thor, Harry Potter, or Mission: Impossible, there were twice as many films we ignored at the box office.  These forgotten flicks tend to be either romantic comedies or family films.  One of the forgotten ones from May is Something Borro...
Continue reading ...

REVIEW: The Mechanic Kicks Ass But Also Kicks Itself

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 25, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
The Mechanic

Directed By: Simon West

Starring: Jason Statham and Ben Foster

Action movies are a dime a dozen, and I'm hardly impressed by most of them these days.  Some decent ass-kicking just doesn't get the job done for me anymore.  We've all seen a million movies about lonely cops, corrupt spies, or betrayed assassins.  We need something fresh and innovative to add a new page to the action movie playbook.  We need to make ass-kicking awesome again.  Unfortunately, Jason Statham's The Mechanic...
Continue reading ...

REVIEW: Green Lantern is a Little Too Green for the Big Screen

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, February 12, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Green Lantern

Directed By: Martin Campbell

Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Peter Sarsgaard, Mark Strong, Angela Bassett, and Tim Robbins

Bringing the mythology of comic books to the big screen in live action films is one of the toughest jobs a director can tackle.  Not every hero is easy to bring to theaters like Batman or Spider-Man.  Some of the most popular comic book heroes are just not meant for live action films.  Green Lantern is one of those heroes.  Martin Campbell falls flat on ...
Continue reading ...

REVIEW: Zookeeper is a Charmingly Crappy Flick

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, February 9, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 

Directed By: Frank Coraci

Starring: Kevin James, Rosario Dawson, Leslie Bibb, Steffiana De La Cruz, Donnie Wahlberg, Thomas Gottschalk, Sylvester Stallone, Cher, Nick Nolte, Adam Sandler, Maya Rudolph, and Bas Rutten

We all have those bad movies that we just can't help but enjoy.  They're guilty pleasures.  Throughout the film, you're wondering what the hell you're watching.  Strangely enough though, you're enjoying the film at the same time.  These flicks are the ones you watch at hom...
Continue reading ...

REVIEW: Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace – A Slow Start

Posted by Mary Dieng on Sunday, February 5, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace
Mary Dieng

Directed By: George Lucas

Starring: Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Jake Lloyd, Ian McDiarmid, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker, Pernilla August, and Frank Oz

In honor of the re-release of the Star Wars movies in 3D, STMR is doing a Retro Review series on the franchise.  When I found out that I was tasked with the honor of reviewing these classics, my inner geek squealed with delight.  What child of the ‘80’s wouldn’t be thrilled...
Continue reading ...

REVIEW: The Eagle Lands, Albeit in a Crash Landing

Posted by Zach Davis on Sunday, January 29, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
The Eagle
Zach Davis

Directed by: Kevin Macdonald

Starring: Channing Tatum, Jamie Bell, Donald Sutherland, and Mark Strong

Kevin Macdonald is mostly known for documentary pieces, and The Eagle marks his third time behind the camera for a non-documentary feature film.  His previous works include The Last King of Scotland and State of Play.  With this in mind, hiring a director that specializes in documentary filmmaking is a mistake that takes away from the story of the film.  Documentarians are no...
Continue reading ...

REVIEW: Paul is a Movie That Shoots for the Stars But Barely Gets Off the Ground

Posted by Zach Davis on Wednesday, January 25, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Zach Davis

Directed by: Greg Mottola

Starring: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Seth Rogen, Kristen Wiig, Jason Bateman, Bill Hader, Joe Lo Truglio, John Carroll Lynch, Sigourney Weaver, and Jane Lynch

Paul was penned by British comedy icons Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, and it shows.  These men are known lovers of comics and science fiction — two genres that serve as the main backdrop of the story.  Their work comes off as a fanboy screenplay that was somehow green lit into production.

Graeme Willy (S...
Continue reading ...

REVIEW: It Will Take a Few Cocktails to Find Anything Remotely Insidious

Posted by Zach Davis on Sunday, January 8, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Zach Davis

Directed By: James Wan

Starring: Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Ty Simpkins, Barbara Hershey, Lin Shaye, Andrew Astor, and Leigh Whannell

From the mind of Saw scribe, Leigh Whannell, comes Insidious, a different side of the horror spectrum.  Instead of a serial killer who communicates through a satanic-like puppet, Insidious offers a look into the world of ghosts and demons.

After moving into their new home, Josh Lampert (Patrick Wilson) and his wife Renai (Rose Byrne) begin to w...
Continue reading ...

REVIEW: Pray There's an Open Bar During Jumping the Broom

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 7, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Jumping the Broom

Directed By: Salim Akil

Starring: Laz Alonso, Paula Patton, Tasha Smith, Loretta Devine, and Meagan Good

It's nice to see a good black comedy every once in a while.  They've been crowded out so much by crappy Tyler Perry flicks in recent years that I had really begun to miss them.  When I heard about Bishop T.D. Jakes' Jumping the Broom, I got pretty excited.  I thought we had a really good black comedy at hand.  With a cast including Angela Bassett, Loretta Devine, Mike Epps, ...
Continue reading ...








Large Association of Movie  Blogs


Follow soberfilmcritic on Twitter