Showing Tag: "horror" (Show all posts)

REVIEW: Behind the Coagula of Get Out, TSA Agent Rodney Williams Handles the Situation of the Sunken Place

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, February 28, 2017, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Get Out

Directed By: Jordan Peele

Starring: Daniel Kaluuya, Allison Williams, Catherine Keener, Bradley Whitford, Caleb Landry Jones, Lil Rel Howery, and Keith Stanfield

I know people have been flocking to theaters as a distraction from the outrage of the day from the Trump White House. Every single day, something frustrating, maddening, or downright disgusting takes place in this new era, and moviegoers need a break. For the first time in a while, I'm happy to report that there is a great new...

REVIEW: Turn Out the Lights Given Diana's Skin Disorder & Her History at Mulberry Hills

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, July 24, 2016, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Lights Out

Directed By: David F. Sandberg

Starring: Teresa Palmer, Gabriel Bateman, Alexander DiPersia, Billy Burke, and Maria Bello

It seems as if the box office might just be getting interesting again. We had the delightful Ghostbusters last weekend and have Star Trek Beyond this one. We even have Jason Bourne and Suicide Squad waiting in the wings. We're in the midst of a potentially really good wave of big blockbusters here. All the while, the undercurrent of horror and animated flicks t...

REVIEW: To Purge & Purify in This Election Year, The New Founding Fathers Target Presidential Contender Senator Charlene Roan

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, July 2, 2016, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Purge: Election Year

Directed By: James DeMonaco

Starring: Frank Grillo, Elizabeth Mitchell, and Mykelti Williamson

The political conventions are coming this month, and there's a lot that could potentially happen over the next several weeks. With donors backing out left and right, the Republican convention is seemingly in turmoil. It's also not clear who is willing to hold their nose and risk political suicide as Trump's vice presidential pick. On the other side of the aisle, we have a de...

REVIEW: Tackling Enfield in The Conjuring 2, Ed & Lorraine Warren Face Off With the Crooked Man Bill Wilkins & Demon Valak

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 11, 2016, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Conjuring 2

Directed By: James Wan

Starring: Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, Frances O'Connor, Madison Wolfe, Simon McBurney, Franka Potente, Benjamin Haigh, and Maria Doyle Kennedy

We all could use a good scare right about now. After taking a break from the genre with the action spectacle Furious 7 last year, James Wan is back with the follow-up to his 2013 hit The Conjuring. As fate would have it, I've found one of the rare horror movies of 2016 I don't loathe. I'm not putting The Conjurin...

REVIEW: In 10 Cloverfield Lane, You Don't Build the Ark After the Flood Starts or If Paris et ' J'aime

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, March 13, 2016, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

10 Cloverfield Lane

Directed By: Dan Trachtenberg

Starring: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, John Goodman, and John Gallagher, Jr.

After the massive hit Star Wars: The Force Awakens, the next thing on the radar of J. J. Abrams' Bad Robot Productions was supposed to be Star Trek Beyond, or so we thought. As it turns out, Bad Robot got us with the quickness when it dropped the trailer for 10 Cloverfield Lane earlier this year. It literally came out of nowhere when it landed online. The prospect of a se...

REVIEW: The Witch Crackles With Old School Horror & One Dysfunctional Puritan Family

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 27, 2016, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

The Witch

Directed By: Robert Eggers

Starring: Anya Taylor-Joy, Ralph Ineson, Kate Dickie, Harvey Scrimshaw, Ellie Grainger, and Lucas Dawson

Having the benefit of having reviewed hundreds and hundreds of films, I generally can size up a film in its first fifteen minutes or so. My ego lets me think I can do it in only five minutes sometimes. In the case of Robert Eggers's The Witch, I thought I had it pegged after the first few moments. I thought it was going to be a dry, fright-less affair. ...

REVIEW: For A Monstrous Love, Many Women Have Sipped the Poisonous Tea at Allerdale Hall in Crimson Peak

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, October 25, 2015, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Crimson Peak

Directed By: Guillermo del Toro

Starring: Mia Wasikowska, Jessica Chastain, Tom Hiddleston, Charlie Hunnam, and Jim Beaver

I've been highly critical of the horror genre since I began STMR (and long before that as well). There are few films I've given high marks in recent years including slasher flick You're Next and supernatural horror flick It Follows. Still, the genre's been languishing in my eyes for quite some time. The proof is in the mockumentary-flavored pudding Hollywood ...

REVIEW: Not Incontinence or the Stomach Flu, The Visit's Elixir Is Sundown Syndrome

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, September 12, 2015, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Visit

Directed By: M. Night Shyamalan

Starring: Olivia DeJonge, Ed Oxenbould, Deanna Dunagan, Peter McRobbie, and Kathryn Hahn

I came into The Visit with quite a few reservations to say the least, and it's not just the fact that I am returning to STMR after a bit of a hiatus. After all, we're talking about M. Night Shyamalan. He hasn't had a good movie in well over a decade. His previous feature film After Earth says it all in the way it sank the box office prospects of the unsinkable mov...

REVIEW: Despite the Man Who Can't Breathe's Obsession With Quinn Brenner, Insidious: Chapter 3 Isn't A Real Traffic Stopper

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, June 7, 2015, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Insidious: Chapter 3

Directed By: Leigh Whannell

Starring: Dermot Mulroney, Stefanie Scott, Angus Sampson, Leigh Whannell, and Lin Shaye

Into the further we go one more time. The Insidious franchise is one I didn't expect to have this kind of longevity. Yes, it's made some money and lined the pockets of studio execs on two separate occasions. Still, it's a franchise that jumped into the fray at what I hope is the tail end of this supernatural phase in the horror genre. Then again, I hold hig...
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REVIEW: In Poltergeist, This House Is Not Clean

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, May 24, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Poltergeist

Directed By: Gil Kenan

Starring: Sam Rockwell, Rosemarie DeWitt, Jared Harris, and Jane Adams

The end of an era has come. It's the real thing. Buying the world a coke and concluding the story of Don Draper, Mad Men has ended its incredible seven season run. While I'll certainly miss this truly one-of-a-kind show, the thing that's on my mind this weekend is a long forgotten partner of Sterling Cooper Draper Price. That's right. I'm talking about Lane Price and the man who portray...
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REVIEW: Never Have I Ever Seen Petulant Teens Whine Like They Do on Skype Video Calls in Unfriended

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, April 21, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Unfriended

Directed By: Levan Gabriadze

Starring: Shelley Hennig, Moses Jacob Storm, Renee Olstead, Will Peltz, Jacob Wysocki, Courtney Halverson, and Heather Sossaman

Modern Family tried something rather interesting earlier this season. The ABC sitcom did an episode with a rather unique premise. They did an episode entirely on video chat. It was a creative risk that paid off. That format just made its way to the big screen with this past weekend's Unfriended. While this variation on the mo...
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REVIEW: Sex Can Kill You When It Follows, Especially for Jay

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, March 22, 2015, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

It Follows

Directed By: David Robert Mitchell

Starring: Maika Monroe, Keir Gilchrist, Daniel Zovatto, Jake Weary, Olivia Luccardi, and Lili Sepe

If you've followed this site for any extended period of time, I'm sure you've discovered the fact that I have no love lost for the horror movies of today. These days, we get the millionth unwarranted entry in a long-running franchise, a supernatural horror flick that is stylistically akin to every other horror movie that's come out in the last twenty y...
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REVIEW: In The Lazarus Effect, Zoe's Fiery Apartment Hell Nightmare Is the Bizarre DMT Compound of Horror Movies

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 28, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Lazarus Effect

Directed By: David Gelb

Starring: Mark Duplass, Olivia Wilde, Donald Glover, Evan Peters, and Sarah Bolger

It's amazing how Hollywood can get horror so right on television and so wrong on the big screen fairly consistently. Just look to the recent successes of terrific shows like American Horror Story, The Walking Dead, and Bates Motel. Then, look to the recent failures of films like Annabelle, The Purge: Anarchy, and any Paranormal Activity film of your choosing. It's a st...
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REVIEW: In The Woman in Black 2, Angel of Death Isn't the Good Thought With Which to Fight Edward's Bad Dreams at Eel Marsh House

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 3, 2015, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death

Directed By: Tom Harper

Starring: Phoebe Fox, Jeremy Irvine, Helen McCrory, Adrian Rawlins, Leanne Best, and Ned Dennehy

"Fight bad dreams with good thoughts."
-Eve Parkins (Phoebe Fox)

Happy New Year STMR readers! We've put the doldrums of the 2014 box office behind us. The movies of 2015 now lie ahead, and we've got plenty of potentially great flicks on the horizon. This is the year of the reborn franchise. Just look to Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Juras...
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REVIEW: For a Soul, Annabelle Higgins Blandly Introduces Mia Gordon to Her Satanic Cult the Disciples of Ram with Nursery Music

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, October 4, 2014, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Annabelle

Directed By: John R. Leonetti

Starring: Annabelle Wallis, Ward Horton, Tony Amendola, and Alfre Woodard

The last movie I saw about a doll was A Haunted House 2. Though the atrocious spoof was much earlier in the year, my bitterness lingers on today. With the notion of Marlon Wayans shamelessly sexing a doll named Abigail in the back of my mind, it's needless to say a horror movie about the doll on which Abigail is based is the last thing I want to see on the big screen. As it stands...
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REVIEW: In No Good Deed, Malignant Narcissist Colin Evans Unfortunately Puts His Violent Tendencies on Display at 17 Creston Lane

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 14, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

No Good Deed

Directed By: Sam Miller

Starring: Idris Elba, Taraji P. Henson, Leslie Bibb, Kate del Castillo, and Henry Simmons

I miss slasher flicks. Aside from You're Next a little more than a year ago, we haven't had too many good ones in the last several years. It's all the paranormal, supernatural stuff that dominates nowadays. I prefer my antagonists to be a little more interesting like Jason Voorhees or Ghostface. That being said, I'll take it where I can get it these days, or so I tho...
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REVIEW: Thanks to the Philosopher's Stone, As Above, So Below, As I Believe the World to Be, So It Is in Hell

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 30, 2014, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

As Above, So Below

Directed By: John Erick Dowdle

Starring: Perdita Weeks, Ben Feldman, Edwin Hodge, and François Civil

Summer 2014 is coming to a close. The excitement I put forth back in May when The Amazing Spider-Man 2 arrived hasn't materialized into a wealth of big budget blockbusters behind which we all can rally. While I have lauded smaller films like Chef, Snowpiercer, and Boyhood, we peaked too early with films like Godzilla and X-Men: Days of Future Past. It's been downhill ever s...
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REVIEW: During the Annual Purge, Carmelo's Call to Action Against the New Founding Fathers of America (NFFA) Doesn't Bring the Anarchy

Posted by James Brown on Friday, July 18, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Purge: Anarchy

Directed By: James DeMonaco

Starring: Frank Grillo, Carmen Ejogo, Zach Gilford, Kiele Sanchez, and Zoe Soul

In an era when the latest and greatest scary movies are almost always about something supernatural, it's nice to see some good old fashioned horror movies where people kill people. I'm tired of ghosts, demons, and possessed mirrors dominating the horror landscape. I prefer movies that tap into the darkness inside each and every one of us and leverage this to ratchet up...
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REVIEW: To Deliver Us From Evil, Sergeant Ralph Sarchie Must Use His Radar, His Discernment of Spirits, to Stop Mick "Jungler" Santino #Invocamus

Posted by James Brown on Friday, July 4, 2014, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Deliver Us From Evil

Directed By: Scott Derrickson

Starring: Eric Bana, Édgar Ramírez, Olivia Munn, Sean Harris, and Joel McHale

"Invocamus Vi Ingredi Ab Inferi”

Hollywood hasn't figured out what to do after the success of the horror genre in 2013. In a reactionary move to box office gold, they're mostly releasing halfway decent movies from a singular niche genre, possession films. Just look at the slew of flicks we've had featuring demons trying to make their way into the world. They incl...
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REVIEW: In The Quiet Ones, Poltergeist Doll Evey Dwyer, Her Host Jane, & the Devil Worshiping Lilitu Give Us Two Boring Knocks

Posted by James Brown on Friday, April 25, 2014, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Quiet Ones

Directed By: John Pogue

Starring: Jared Harris, Sam Claflin, Olivia Cooke, Erin Richards, and Rory Fleck-Byrne

I've said that I'm tired of found footage horror films, but I have to say that I'm tired of supernatural horror flicks in general. Poltergeists have simply been overdone in recent years. Paranormal Activity, Insidious, & The Conjuring have all flooded our theaters. I'm more of a slasher fan of Friday the 13th or A Nightmare on Elm Street, exactly the types of old schoo...
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REVIEW: Thanks to the Lasser Glass in Oculus, Tim and Kaylie Confront Their' Bloody, Troubled Childhood Right in the Mirror

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 13, 2014, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Oculus

Directed By: Mike Flanagan

Starring: Katee Sackhoff, Karen Gillan, Brenton Thwaites, Rory Cochrane, Annalise Basso, and Garrett Ryan

In the horror department, 2014 has some big shoes to fill. In the wake of a diverse slate of films back in 2013 including You're Next, The Conjuring, and The Purge, scary movie lovers rightfully have some pretty high expectations. Considering flicks like Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones and Devil's Due, this year's entries into the genre have missed th...
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REVIEW: Born From Death, the Antichrist Comes Through a Pregnant Sam During Her Last Hour in Devil's Due

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, January 19, 2014, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Devil's Due

Directed By: Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett

Starring: Allison Miller, Zach Gilford, Sam Anderson, and Robert Belushi

"Children, it is the last hour, and as you have heard that antichrist is coming, so now many antichrists have come. Therefore we know that it is the last hour."
1 John 2:18

It's the third weekend of the year, and we've already gotten our second found footage horror movie (the first being Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones). It's needless to say that I'm gett...
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REVIEW: Despite the Possessed Simon Game, Marked One Jesse Loses It With Anna & One Creepy Coven of Witches in This Paranormal Activity Spinoff

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, January 5, 2014, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones

Directed By: Christopher B. Landon

Starring: Andrew Jacobs, Jorge Diaz, Richard Cabral, Carlos Pratts, and Gabrielle Walsh

Happy New Year STMR readers! Whether you've travelled, visited family and friends, or just watched some good movies, I hope you've had a holiday season full of much-needed rest and relaxation. As we kick off 2014, we begin things with a horror franchise that was noticeably absent in a banner year for the genre. While movies like The Pu...
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REVIEW: Given Clear Skies with a Chance of Satellite Debris, All Eyes Are on Dr. Ryan Stone and Her Journey Over that Big Blue Earth with No Gravity

Posted by James Brown on Friday, October 4, 2013, In : 0.00% Water

Gravity

Directed By: Alfonso Cuarón

Starring: Sandra Bullock, George Clooney, and Ed Harris

When it comes to technically impressive films, Avatar has long been my gold standard. There's nothing quite like being immersed in James Cameron's daring vision of Pandora. While I've got tremendous respect for the movie from a special effects standpoint, I've always thought that the story lacked substance. When I initially heard of Gravity, I had similar concerns. The trailer looked incredible, but ...
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REVIEW: Whether Meredith or Parker Crane, the Bride in Black and His Mother of Death Make Chapter 2 of Insidious Worth Skipping

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, September 14, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Insidious: Chapter 2

Directed By: James Wan

Starring: Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Lin Shaye, Ty Simpkins, and Barbara Hershey

It's Friday the 13th, and I don't have a new Jason Voorhees flick to go see. Slasher flick You're Next is still in theaters, but I could use something fresh. What we have instead this weekend is James Wan's follow-up to his 2010 horror flick Insidious. While I certainly am no fan of the series, it's hard to deny that the Saw director found success earlier this year in ...
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REVIEW: Despite a Triple Threat Match Amongst Box Boy Santana, Big Daddy Johns & Riddick on Not Furya, This Sci-Fi Flick Lacks a Spine

Posted by James Brown on Friday, September 6, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Riddick

Directed By: David Twohy

Starring: Vin Diesel, Jordi Mollá, Matt Nable, Katee Sackho, Dave Bautista, Bokeem Woodbine, Raoul Trujillo, and Karl Urban

The fall movie season is officially underway, which means I should think about taking a break for a few weeks from the box office. I genuinely wouldn't miss much. We've got The Family, another action movie penned by writer-director Luc Besson who I've yet to forgive for the abysmal Taken 2 last year. We've got Battle of the Year, a Step ...
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REVIEW: With Machetes, Axes & Crossbows, the Lamb, Fox & Tiger Unleash Hell in You're Next

Posted by James Brown on Friday, August 23, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

You're Next

Directed By: Adam Wingard

Starring: Sharni Vinson, Nicholas Tucci, Wendy Glenn, AJ Bowen, Joe Swanberg, Barbara Crampton, and Rob Moran

Hollywood has been on a mission to reinvigorate the horror genre this year. With movies like The Purge and The Conjuring serving up plenty of original terror, studios have given me some semblance of hope that future films will do just the same, if not more. Given that I had lost all hope in the genre for the better part of a decade, this is quite n...
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REVIEW: In The Conjuring, Demonologist & Clairvoyant Ed & Lorraine Warren Endure Infestation, Oppression, & Possession With Witch Bathsheba

Posted by James Brown on Friday, July 19, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Conjuring

Directed By: James Wan

Starring: Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, Ron Livingston, Lili Taylor, Mackenzie Foy, and Joey King

The slate of horror movies at the box office has actually impressed me this year. There's largely been a step away from the outright torture porn that’s dominated the genre in recent years and a step toward what perhaps may be the next generation of horror films. With Evil Dead earlier this spring and Carrie later in the fall, remakes sadly aren't going anywh...
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REVIEW: In World War Z, the Number 12 Train Helps the World's Best Serial Killer Mother Nature Infect Everyone Except the 10th Man

Posted by James Brown on Friday, June 21, 2013, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

World War Z

Directed By: Marc Forster

Starring: Brad Pitt, Mireille Enos, James Badge Dale, Matthew Fox, and David Morse

I've rarely seen a film more plagued with production issues than World War Z. There have been twenty million rewrites to the screenplay, an adaptation of the 2006 novel by Max Brooks. The movie, which has been in the works for six years, had a really hard time getting financing. To cap off this movie's woes, casting changes took place throughout filming. With all of this, ...
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REVIEW: Blessed Be the New Founding Fathers of America, a Nation Reborn With One Big Moral Dilemma Called The Purge

Posted by James Brown on Friday, June 7, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Purge

Directed By: James DeMonaco

Starring: Ethan Hawke, Lena Headey, Adelaide Kane, and Max Burkholder

America is the poster child for gun-loving nations across the globe. I'm not going to delve too deep into the divisive, often illogical misconceptions that are floating around the web about whether or not we should arm ourselves to death, but I can't deny that this has been a hot button issue this year. What I will delve into are the many, many victims of gun violence and some of the mal...
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REVIEW: With Vacuum Cleaners Partying, Erica Ash Ghettoizing Black Swan, and Morgan Freeman Narrating, Scary Movie 5 is Just Plain Weird

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, April 13, 2013, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Scary Movie 5

Directed By: Malcolm D. Lee

Starring: Ashley Tisdale, Simon Rex, Erica Ash, Molly Shannon, Heather Locklear, J.P. Manoux, Jerry O'Connell, Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, and Morgan Freeman

How many times have you gone to an R-rated film and been appalled to see parents bringing their kids to the theater? I've honestly lost count at this point. Whether it be some violent, bloody horror flick or the latest rude and crude comedy, we've all sadly been there. It's needless to say that...
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REVIEW: In Evil Dead, the Intervention for Drug Addict Mia Seriously Backfires, and the Evil Book Takes Withdrawal to New, Bloody Lows

Posted by James Brown on Friday, April 5, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Evil Dead

Directed By: Fede Alvarez

Starring: Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez, Lou Taylor Pucci, Jessica Lucas, and Elizabeth Blackmore

We lost a true legend this week. Roger Ebert, the man who invented modern film criticism and one whose works I've read for years, has passed away. He will definitely be missed. While we'll never get the chance to hear his thoughts on the films of tomorrow, his words are just as relevant today in an era of remakes and adaptations. This is definitely the case for ...
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REVIEW: In The Last Exorcism Part II, Abalam Fails to Seduce Us When Nell Says This Demon Isn't Real

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 2, 2013, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

The Last Exorcism Part II

Directed By: Ed Gass-Donnelly

Starring: Ashley Bell, Julia Garner, Spencer Treat Clark, Muse Watson, and Louis Herthum

When it comes to horror movies nowadays, I'm at my wit's end. They all just suck. Dark Skies, Texas Chainsaw, and Paranormal Activity 4 are all potent examples of the genre's decline in recent years. The good news is that we've had fewer horror movies in recent months. The bad news is the downward spiral of this genre continues. This weekend's The L...
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REVIEW: In Dark Skies, the Sandman and the Grays Do Nothing But Let Us Down

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 23, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Dark Skies

Directed By: Scott Stewart

Starring: Keri Russell, Josh Hamilton, and Dakota Goyo

It's Oscar weekend. I'm happy to say that we're at the end of another lengthy awards season. While it means that awards shows are thankfully at an end, it also means that we're almost through the worst part of the year for moviegoers. The key word there is almost. Unfortunately, snoozers are still crowding movie theaters. This weekend, the new snoozer at the box office goes by the name of Dark Skies...
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REVIEW: The ABC’s Of Death – 26 Tales Of Horror By 26 Different Directors

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Tuesday, February 19, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The ABC’s Of Death
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Nacho Vigalondo, Marcel Sarmiento, Adam Wingard, Simon Barrett, Adam Wingard, Simon Barrett, Angela Bettis, Xavier Gens, etc.

Starring: Fraser Corbett, Dallas Malloy, Darenzia, Lee Hardcastle, and Hiroko Yashiki

The ABC’s of Death is a compilation of 26 different horror stories directed by 26 different directors. Inspired by children’s storybooks, producers Ant Timpson and Tim League assigned a different letter of the alphabet to different ...

REVIEW: Crawlspace – An Evil Eve, Aliens and Telepathy Could Not Save This Australian Sci-Fi Horror Flick

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, February 2, 2013, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Crawlspace
SoberFilmChick

Directed by: Justin Dix

Starring: Amber Clayton, Eddie Baroo, Ditch Davey, and Nicholas Bell

The January/February movie slump continues, even in the indie world. The latest entry is Crawlspace. Crawlspace is an Australian film set in the middle of the desert. The Australian and U.S. governments established a secret underground research facility in a remote location. A disaster has taken place at the facility and the government has lost contact with the underground i...

REVIEW: Warm Bodies Exhumes the Zombie Movie Genre and Cures It with a Fresh, Funny Tale of Romance

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 2, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Warm Bodies

Directed By: Jonathan Levine

Starring: Nicholas Hoult, Teresa Palmer, John Malkovich, Rob Corddry, Dave Franco, Cory Hardrict, and Analeigh Tipton

Zombie movies are misses more often than hits. We get so many movies about these undead terrors that are as lifeless and mindless as the walking dead themselves. With countless films in the genre, it's got to be terribly difficult to think outside the box and pull together a fresh, innovative story. However, director Jonathan Levine...

REVIEW: Lily, Mama, Victoria. The Helvecia Cabin is a Full House of Horror

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 19, 2013, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Mama

Directed By: Andres Muschietti

Starring: Jessica Chastain, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Megan Charpentier, Isabelle Nélisse, and Daniel Kash

"A ghost is an emotion, bent out of shape, condemned to repeat itself, time and time again, until it rights the wrong it was done."
-A Local Record-keeper

We don't get too many ghost stories at the box office. I'm talking about real ghost stories, not Paranormal Activity. I'm talking about films like last year's The Woman in Black. I'm talking about ...

REVIEW: Paranormal Activity Spoof A Haunted House Keeps Its Eye on Sex, Not Comedy

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 12, 2013, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

A Haunted House

Directed By: Michael Tiddes

Starring: Marlon Wayans, Essence Atkins, Cedric the Entertainer, Nick Swardson, David Koechner, and Dave Sheridan

Horror movies are bad enough on their own these days. There's absolutely no need to make matters worse by making spoofs of these often horrible flicks. It's absolutely pointless. The only evidence I need to justify my position is that there is a Scary Movie 5 coming this year. Nothing more needs to be said to make my case. However,...

REVIEW: Texas Chainsaw 3D Can't Get Around the Good Book or August 19th

Posted by James Brown on Friday, January 4, 2013, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Texas Chainsaw 3D

Directed By: John Luessenhop

Starring: Alexandra Daddario, Dan Yeager, Tremaine Neverson (Trey Songz), Tania Raymonde, Thom Barry, Paul Rae, and Bill Moseley

Most bad movies just suck, but some can actually be fun to watch. While I'm a man who believes that a few beverages with some kick can make any movie an enjoyable experience, some of the rotten ones are laughably bad all on their own. It's been a while since I've seen a bad horror movie that I actually somewhat enjoyed, ...
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REVIEW: Alessa & the Order of Valtiel Don't Bring the Darkness in Silent Hill: Revelation 3D

Posted by James Brown on Friday, October 26, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Silent Hill: Revelation 3D

Directed By: Michael J. Bassett

Starring: Adelaide Clemens, Sean Bean, Kit Harrington, Carrie-Anne Moss, Malcolm McDowell, Radha Mitchell, Deborah Kara Unger, and Martin Donovan

I'm so happy that this is the last weekend of October! That means we get a reprieve from bad horror movies for a couple of months. So far in the fall, we've had Sinister, Paranormal Activity 4, and Silent Hill: Revelation 3D. All of these attempted fright fests leave a lot to be desired ...

REVIEW: Katie and Hunter Drop the Ball in Paranormal Activity 4

Posted by James Brown on Friday, October 19, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Paranormal Activity 4

Directed By: Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman

Starring: Katie Featherston, Kathryn Newton, Matt Shively, Brady Allen, Aiden Lovekamp, Stephen Dunham, and Alexondra Lee

I normally start out a review on a crappy horror movie by throwing around some wisecracks about Hollywood's obsession with terrible scary movies that are often tantamount to torture porn. I've got something a little different to talk about today, Hollywood's recent obsession with kids in horror movies. La...

REVIEW: Mr. Boogie is Anything But Sinister. Try Infinitely Boring.

Posted by James Brown on Friday, October 12, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Sinister

Directed By: Scott Derrickson

Starring: Ethan Hawke, Juliet Rylance, Fred Thompson, James Ransone, Clare Foley, and Michael Hall D'Addario

Halloween is on the horizon. That means it's the season of crappy horror movies! That's unfortunately what we as moviegoers are subjected to on an annual basis. A couple of long-running franchises such as Paranormal Activity or Saw release their next terrible installments, and a few newcomers typically fall flat. This weekend, we have a horror newbie...
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REVIEW: Carrie Ann Is Insane in House at the End of the Street

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Friday, September 21, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

House at the End of the Street
SoberFilmChick

Directed By: Mark Tonderai

Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Max Thieriot, Gil Bellows, Elisabeth Shue, and Eva Link

As I have said before in prior reviews of horror flicks, Jason, Freddy and Michael Myers do not scare me. However, the depiction of truly insane people freaks me out. Any time I see a female walking around in white pajamas with hair in her face and one crazy eye showing, I’m ready to run for the border. Call it The Ring effect. Hou...

REVIEW: Norman May Be a Freak, But ParaNorman Freakin' Rocks

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 18, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

ParaNorman

Directed By: Sam Fell and Chris Butler

Starring: Kodi Smit-McPhee, Tucker Albrizzi, Anna Kendrick, Casey Affleck, John Goodman, Leslie Mann, Jeff Garlin, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, and Elaine Stritch

In recent years, animated films have been walking a fine line. They keep the kiddies entertained with the silly stuff, but they incorporate nuggets of humor for the adults that should fly right over the kids' heads. If mom and dad are forced to go see a cartoon about an ogre in a world o...
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REVIEW: Prometheus Has Some Big Questions For the Engineers & the Real Engineer Ridley Scott Gives Some Damn Good Answers

Posted by James Brown on Friday, June 8, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers

Prometheus

Directed By: Ridley Scott

Starring: Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Guy Pearce, Idris Elba, Logan Marshall-Green, and Charlize Theron

It's been 33 years since Ridley Scott took us to LV-426. After all this time, he's come back to the Alien universe to tell another epic sci-fi story. Now, he takes us to LV-223 in his latest film Prometheus. We've all seen the awesome marketing campaign for the film. We've all been waiting for it and wondering what he'll bring to the table this ti...
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REVIEW: Yes Amanda, Your Friends Are Morons and So Are You in Chernobyl Diaries

Posted by James Brown on Friday, May 25, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Chernobyl Diaries

Directed By: Bradley Parker

Starring: Jesse McCartney, Jonathan Sadowski, Devin Kelley, Olivia Taylor Dudley, Nathan Phillips, Ingrid Bolso Berdal, and Dimitri Diatchenko

Last month, I gave The Cabin in the Woods a 0.06% rating. While the first half of the film was a little dry for my taste, the second half had me sitting on the edge of my seat. I didn't realize it then, but I think Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard might have raised my standard for the horror genre by just a few ...
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REVIEW: The Moth Diaries – 82 Minutes Too Long

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, April 29, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

The Moth Diaries
SoberFilmChick

Directed By: Mary Harron

Starring: Sarah Bolger, Lily Cole, Sarah Gadon, and Scott Speedman

The Moth Diaries is only 82 minutes in duration. However, those 82 minutes felt like an eternity when I watched this uninteresting tale. If only I had a time machine, I would go back and tell the SoberFilmCritic that I was not available to waste my time on this crap. But we don’t have time for should have, could have, would have on STMR and every movie can’t be a gem....
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REVIEW: Puppet Masters Drew Goddard and Joss Whedon Bring Blood and Brutality to Reality TV with The Cabin in the Woods

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, April 14, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Cabin in the Woods

Directed By: Drew Goddard

Starring: Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz, Jesse Williams, Richard Jenkins, and Bradley Whitford

It's Friday the 13th, and I'm here to talk about a newly released horror flick. There is a catch though. It doesn't involve the undead, machete-wielding menace Jason Voorhees. I'm talking about the new horror movie The Cabin in the Woods by Drew Goddard and Joss Whedon. While this new horror flick does pay homage to Ja...
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REVIEW: ATM - Getting A Few Bucks Has Never Been So Deadly

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, April 7, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

ATM
SoberFilmChick

Directed By: David Brooks

Starring: Alice Eve, Josh Peck, and Brian Geraghty

I am always paranoid if I use an ATM at night. I have a fear that someone is going to sneak up behind me and rob me just as I’m keying in my code. The ATMs that require you to swipe your card to enter into a windowed room at the front of a building are even worse because then you’re trapped in a room. So ATM the movie is really my paranoia come to life, but on crack.

ATM is the story of David (B...
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REVIEW: Silent House Is Authentically Mediocre

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 10, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Silent House

Directed By: Chris Kentis and Laura Lau

Starring: Elizabeth Olsen, Adam Trese, Eric Sheffer Stevens, Julia Taylor Ross, and Haley Murphy

These days, the horror genre is more predictable than ever. You get a few kills, a few hot girls, and more than a few bad actors. When there's talk of the downfall of modern mainstream cinema, the conversation wouldn't be complete without mentioning how crappy horror flicks are these days. That's why I'm so surprised that the talented young actr...
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REVIEW: Kill List - A Brutal, Disturbing Thriller

Posted by Mary Dieng on Sunday, February 12, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Kill List
Mary Dieng

Directed By: Ben Wheatley

Starring: Neil Maskell, Michael Smiley, MyAnna Buring, and Emma Fryer

Confused and Disturbed. That would describe my feelings at the end of viewing Kill List. WTH would also be appropriate. Kill List is the story of Jay (Neil Maskell), an ex-British soldier who has hit hard financial times. He has not worked in over eight months and his wife Shel (Myanna Buring), also a former soldier, is irate. The film begins with them bickering at a dinner pa...
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REVIEW: The Woman in Black Takes Us Way Back

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 4, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Woman in Black

Directed By: James Watkins

Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Ciarán Hinds, Janet McTeer, Sophie Stuckey, Liz White, and Alisa Khasanova

Most scary movies these days just don't get the job done. Ghost stories and old school thrillers have gone out of fashion. We're left with remakes of 80s slasher flicks like A Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th that can never quite live up to the originals. Alternatively, we get unnecessarily gory films that are tantamount to torture po...
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REVIEW: The Grey Is a Smart Movie, But It's Also Really Stupid

Posted by James Brown on Friday, January 27, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

The Grey

Directed By: Joe Carnahan

Starring: Liam Neeson, Frank Grillo, Dermot Mulroney, Dallas Roberts, Joe Anderson, Nonso Anozie, and James Badge Dale

Attention everyone! It's that time of year for a kick-ass Liam Neeson B-movie, and no actor in the world wanted to go toe-to-toe with the famed Irish actor this time around. Liam Neeson has beaten the hell out of every human badass on camera and is now relegated to fighting wolves. Writer/director Joe Carnahan took a stab at bringing a wolf ...
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REVIEW: A Couple of Cocktails Are Needed to Confront The Devil Inside

Posted by Zach Davis on Friday, January 13, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails

The Devil Inside
Zach Davis

Directed by: William Brent Bell

Starring: Fernanda Andrade, Simon Quarterman, Evan Helmuth, Ionut Grama, and Susan Crowley

It seems every year there is a new film out about possession and exorcism, with very few offering new perspectives or insights. The Devil Inside is another one of these movies although it offers a bit of originality given that it’s presented in the format of a documentary. This documentary style helps make the movie seem more real and authentic...
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REVIEW: For The Darkest Hour, Take Ben's Advice. Drink Religiously.

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, December 27, 2011, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

The Darkest Hour

Directed By: Chris Gorak

Starring: Olivia Thirlby, Emile Hirsch, Rachael Taylor, Max Minghella, and Joel Kinnaman

The movie industry has been pretty bipolar this year. 2011 has had some really great films, but there have been plenty of horrible flicks that have driven up my bar tab. It just so happens that Summit Entertainment has been at the forefront of half-assed filmmaking over the past twelve months. They've given us crap like The Three Musketeers and The Twilight Saga: ...
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REVIEW: Supernatural Horror Flick Paranormal Activity 3 Is All Too Natural

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, October 22, 2011, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine

Paranormal Activity 3

Directed By: Ariel Schulman and Henry Joost

Starring: Lauren Bittner, Christopher Nicholas Smith, Chloe Csengery, Jessica Tyler Brown, Kate Featherston and Sprague Grayden

By the time you get around to the third installment in a horror franchise, the filmmakers have probably used all their tricks. Viewers could predict every move by Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, or Michael Myers in the third flicks of their respective film series. How many ways can a serial killer use a...
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REVIEW: Don't Be Afraid of Don't Be Afraid of the Dark

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, August 30, 2011, In : 0.09% Cocktails

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark

Directed By: Troy Nixey

Starring: Katie Holmes, Guy Pearce, and Bailee Madison

2011 has not been a particularly great year for horror flicks. There's just been one waste of fake blood after another. Bringing Guillermo del Toro into the horror fold for a run at producing Don't Be Afraid of the Dark was a beacon of hope. His well-documented creativity and unique visuals would have been a welcomed addition to the genre. It was supposed to be the light at the end of t...
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REVIEW: Open Up a Tab At the Bar for Final Destination 5

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, August 16, 2011, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor

Final Destination 5

Directed By: Steven Quale

Starring: Nicholas D'Agosto, Emma Bell, Arlen Escarpeta, and Miles Fisher

Great horror films are the stuff from which nightmares are born. They can make the most fearless individuals a bit apprehensive. The terrors in these movies are immortalized on film and in our memories. Bad horror flicks are exactly the opposite. They're the examples that give the horror genre a bad rap. Final Destination 5 is sadly just another bad horror pic that lacks s...
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