Showing Tag: " films" (Show all posts)

REVIEW: Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 3D – Not Exactly Grimm’s Fairytale

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, January 26, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails 

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 3D
SoberFilmChick




Directed by: Tommy Wirkola

Starring: Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton, Famke Janssen, and Peter Stormare

If you’re gonna kill a witch, set her ass on fire.
– Hansel (Jeremy Renner)

There has been a recent trend of modernizing traditional fairy tales and converting well known characters into butt-kicking action stars.  Snow White and the Huntsman and the upcoming Jack the Giant Slayer come to mind.  Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 3D ...


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REVIEW: Struck By Lightning – Glee’s Chris Colfer Branches Out In This Tribeca Indie Flick

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, January 20, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails 

Struck By Lightning
SoberFilmChick



Directed by: Brian Dannelly

Starring: Chris Colfer, Rebel Wilson, Allison Janney, Dermot Mulroney, Christina Hendricks, Sarah Hyland

Struck By Lightning boasts an impressive cast of television actors from shows like Modern Family, Weeds, Mad Men, Desperate Housewives and The Office.  Written by Glee’s Chris Colfer, the film is a high school comedy-drama that has a great deal of promise, but ultimately plays like a made for television movie.

Struck By Ligh...


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REVIEW: John Dies At The End – I Should Have Read The Book And Had A Shot of Soy Sauce Before Watching This Wacky Comedy Horror Trip

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Monday, January 14, 2013, In : 0.09% Cocktails 

John Dies At The End
SoberFilmChick



Directed by: Don Coscarelli

Starring: Chase Williamson, Rob Mayes, Paul Giamatti, Glynn Turman, Clancy Brown


Happy New Year movie lovers!  John Dies at the End is the first movie I am reviewing for 2013, and it is kicking my movie year off to an interesting start.  A film that opens with its lead character beheading someone with an ax and pondering in a detached fashion whether an ax remains the same after it has been broken certainly gets your attention qu...


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REVIEW: This Is 40 – Sex, Weed, Kids and Lost

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, December 22, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 

This Is 40
SoberFilmChick




Directed by: Judd Apatow

Starring: Paul Rudd, Leslie Mann, John Lithgow, Megan Fox, Albert Brooks, and Melissa McCarthy


“F*ck 40.  40 can suck a d*ck.”
– Debbie (Leslie Mann)

I hear you sister!  After I saw the trailer for This is 40, I begged the SoberFilmCritic to let me review the film.  It includes some of my favorite comedic actors and was written by Judd Apatow who brought us gems like The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Bridesmaids, Stepbrothers, and Anchorman: The ...


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REVIEW: Playing For Keeps – Painfully Dull And Underwhelming

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, December 8, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 

Playing For Keeps
SoberFilmChick



Directed by: Gabriele Muccino

Starring: Gerard Butler, Jessica Biel, Uma Thurman, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Judy Greer and Dennis Quaid

I have a confession—I have had a little crush on Gerard Butler since Lara Croft Tomb Raider: Cradle of Life.  (Don’t judge me—for seeing Cradle of Life or liking Butler).  In any event, after his star turn in the blockbuster 300, Butler has starred in a string of forgettable films, leaning towards the romantic comedy genre. ...


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REVIEW: Life of Pi – Ang Lee Brings Yann Martel’s Novel, And One Amazing Tiger, To Life

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Thursday, November 22, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Life of Pi
SoberFilmChick




Directed by: Ang Lee


Starring:  Suraj Sharma, Tabu, Adil Hussain, Irrfan Khan, Gerard Depardieu

Many years ago, I read Yann Martel’s coming of age tale Life of Pi. When I first learned that the novel was being turned into a film, I was a little skeptical.  I found it difficult to believe that the true emotional weight of the tale could be translated to film.  However, when I discovered that Ang Lee was at the helm, I actually began to get excited about the adaptation. ...

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REVIEW: Despite the Trash Bag for Attire, Mr. Excelsior Runs with Greatness in Silver Linings Playbook

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, November 18, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 

Silver Linings Playbook





Directed By: David O. Russell

Starring: Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence, Robert De Niro, Jacki Weaver, Anupam Kher, Julia Stiles, and Chris Tucker

"You have to do everything you can, you have to work your hardest, and if you stay positive, you have a shot at a silver lining."
-Pat Solitano (Bradley Cooper)

Two years ago, director David O. Russell rocked my world with The Fighter.  In my opinion, it may be the best boxing movie in the last three decades.  When I hear...


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REVIEW: What Sex is This Carrot Cheyenne? This Must Be the Place Doesn't Even Know

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, November 11, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 

This Must Be the Place





Directed By: Paolo Sorrentino

Starring: Sean Penn, Frances McDormand, Judd Hirsch, Eve Hewson, Kerry Condon, and Harry Dean Stanton

"Something's not quite right here.  I don't know what, but something."
-Cheyenne (Sean Penn)

That quote perfectly captures my mindset after seeing the trailer for Paolo Sorrentino's This Must Be the Place.  I doubt anyone is genuinely interested in watching a road trip movie on some middle-aged rocker in retirement.  Who really wants to se...


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REVIEW: The Loneliest Planet May Just Be the Most Boring Too

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, November 3, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 

The Loneliest Planet





Directed By: Julia Loktev

Starring: Gael Garcia Bernal, Hani Furstenberg, and Bidzina Gujabidze

The Loneliest Planet has been a film I've been curious about for some time now.  Having garnered quite a bit of love on the festival circuit and even getting nominated for a Best Feature Gotham Independent Film Award, I was of the mindset that this was going to be a great film.  However, I'm going to have to go against the grain here and say that The Loneliest Planet is a thor...


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REVIEW: When There's Money, Things Get Funny in Jungle Village and RZA Gets Down to Bloody Business as The Man with the Iron Fists

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, November 3, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 

The Man with the Iron Fists





Directed By: RZA

Starring: Russell Crowe, Cung Le, Lucy Liu, Byron Mann, RZA, Rick Yune, David Bautista, and Jamie Chung

Hurricane Sandy may have wreaked havoc upon movie theaters over the last week or so, but it looks like moviegoers on the East Coast have got a little cabin fever this weekend.  Business has certainly picked up at theaters, and it's the perfect time.  It's the start of the holiday movie season, and there's a little something for everyone.  For th...


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REVIEW: Wreck-it Ralph 3D – A Fun Romp With Villains from Pac-Man, Streetfighter and Super Mario Brothers

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, November 3, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Wreck-it Ralph 3D
SoberFilmChick




Directed by: Rich Moore

Starring:  John C. Reilly, Sarah Silverman, Jack McBrayer, Jane Lynch, Mindy Kaling, Ed O’Neill

In a week jammed with diverse and exciting releases such as Flight and The Man With The Iron Fists, I chose lighter fare this weekend and opted to review Wreck-it Ralph in 3D.  How could I go wrong when the trailer for the film included a support group filled with some of the most notorious villains in video game history?  When I saw villains f...

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REVIEW: With Bottles, Cans, & Even Minis, Whip Keeps the Drinks Flowing in Flight

Posted by James Brown on Friday, November 2, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 

Flight





Directed By: Robert Zemeckis

Starring: Denzel Washington, Don Cheadle, Kelly Reilly, John Goodman, Bruce Greenwood, and Melissa Leo

The age of movie stars is over.  Can you think of larger-than-life actors or actresses in their 20s and 30s?  I certainly can't.  There's nobody with that X factor.  The glory days of mega stars like Will Smith, Tom Cruise, and Brad Pitt are in the rear view mirror.  While they're all still active and making good movies, the next generation has not steppe...


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REVIEW: Despite Spidey, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and One Mean Kitty Fun Size Is Just Not Worth Fighting For

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, October 28, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 

Fun Size





Directed By: Josh Schwartz

Starring: Victoria Justice, Jane Levy, Thomas McDonnell, Chelsea Handler, Thomas Mann, Osric Chau, and Jackson Nicoll

More often than not, Halloween means bad horror movies for Hollywood.  Every once in a while though, we get a Halloween comedy, and I do mean every once in a while.  Until this weekend, it had been 17 years since the last comedy themed around the nightmarish holiday.  With this in mind, this weekend's Fun Size may just be the only Halloween...


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REVIEW: The Children of the Tides May Understand the Four Pillars of the Human Foundation, But Chasing Mavericks Doesn't Quite Understand the Four Pillars of Good Filmmaking

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, October 28, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 

Chasing Mavericks





Directed By: Curtis Hansen and Michael Apte

Starring: Gerard Butler, Leven Rambin, Jonny Weston, Elisabeth Shue, Abigail Spencer, and Taylor Handley

"We all come from the sea. But we are not all of the sea. Those of us who are, we children of the tides, must return to it again and again."
-Frosty Hesson (Gerard Butler)

I'm not a risk-taker, at least not when it comes to my physical health.  I'm certainly not one who would ever willingly put myself in harm's way purely for t...


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REVIEW: For Ellen: An Ode To Deadbeat Dads

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, October 27, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
For Ellen
SoberFilmChick





Directed by: So Yong Kim

Starring:  Paul Dano, Jon Heder, Shaylena Mandingo, Margerita Levieva


I had high hopes when I saw the cast of For Ellen.  I enjoyed Paul Dano in Little Miss Sunshine and Jon Heder is a quirky actor.  The premise of a rock musician dad struggling for custody of his daughter sounded promising; and I anticipated a profound and compelling tale.  While the acting is superior, the film is unfortunately quite dull.

Joby Taylor (Dano) is a struggling rock ...
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REVIEW: Kate May Have a Boring New Life in Smashed, But There's Always Some Moist Cake Around

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, October 20, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 

Smashed





Directed By: James Ponsoldt

Starring: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Aaron Paul, Octavia Spencer, Nick Offerman, and Megan Mullally

Each and every member of the STMR team can hold his or her liquor, so we have no problem whatsoever knocking back some drinks when a film calls for it.  Alcohol can help overcome any bad movie.  However, I do realize that everyone who frequents the site may not be so responsible in their drinking, and I've discovered just the right flick for them.  James Ponso...


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REVIEW: Alex Cross- Madea Versus A Psychopath

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, October 20, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Alex Cross
SoberFilmChick




Directed by:  Rob Cohen

Starring:  Tyler Perry, Matthew Fox, Edward Burns, Cicely Tyson, Jean Reno, Rachel Nichols, Carmen Ejogo


Maybe my title is a little harsh.  However, I am pretty sure that is what everyone was thinking when they saw the trailer for the movie, along with other burning questions: Is that Madea as a cop?  Can Tyler Perry fill the shoes of Morgan Freeman who previously played Alex Cross in film adaptations of James Patterson’s novels?  Why on God’s...
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REVIEW: Katie and Hunter Drop the Ball in Paranormal Activity 4

Posted by James Brown on Friday, October 19, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 

Paranormal Activity 4





Directed By: Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman

Starring: Katie Featherston, Kathryn Newton, Matt Shively, Brady Allen, Aiden Lovekamp, Stephen Dunham, and Alexondra Lee

I normally start out a review on a crappy horror movie by throwing around some wisecracks about Hollywood's obsession with terrible scary movies that are often tantamount to torture porn.  I've got something a little different to talk about today, Hollywood's recent obsession with kids in horror movies.  La...


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REVIEW: A Sex Surrogate. A Wild Priest. An Iron Lung. The Sessions Will Touch You with Its Kinky Words

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, October 18, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 

The Sessions





Directed By: Ben Lewin

Starring: John Hawkes, Helen Hunt, and William H. Macy

Sometimes, I wonder what makes a screenwriter tick.  I wonder how they come up with some of the crazy stuff they put in screenplays.  With all I've seen in recent months (e.g., For a Good Time, Call..., Cosmopolis, The Paperboy, etc.), I've really been pondering this lately.  Every once in a while, it's sheer creativity.  More often than not though, they simply got the idea from somebody else.  In the ...


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REVIEW: Argo is No Longer a Fake Movie or a Fake Hit

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, October 13, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 

Argo





Directed By: Ben Affleck

Starring: Ben Affleck, Bryan Cranston, Alan Arkin, and John Goodman

Argo couldn't have come to theaters in a more timely fashion.  Just several weeks after the attack in Benghazi that left the US ambassador J. Christopher Stevens to Libya and three other Americans dead, we revisit a similar situation, the Iran Hostage Crisis during which the lives of 52 embassy employees were put in grave danger for a total of 444 days.  While the film was put into production lo...


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REVIEW: Here Comes The Boom - The King Of Queens Takes On MMA To Show That Without Music Life Would Be A Mistake

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, October 13, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Here Comes The Boom
SoberFilmChick




Directed by: Frank Coraci

Starring:  Kevin James, Salma Hayek, Henry Winkler, Bas Rutten, Charice, Greg Germann


Well color me surprised.  Here Comes the Boom was not completely horrible.  Please hear me out before you revoke my critic’s badge.  I had incredibly low expectations going into the film.  While I like Kevin James, aside from the King of Queens and Hitch, he has been a part of one bad film after another.  (I’m looking at you Zookeeper, Paul Blart: ...
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REVIEW: Mr. Boogie is Anything But Sinister. Try Infinitely Boring.

Posted by James Brown on Friday, October 12, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Sinister





Directed By: Scott Derrickson

Starring: Ethan Hawke, Juliet Rylance, Fred Thompson, James Ransone, Clare Foley, and Michael Hall D'Addario


Halloween is on the horizon. That means it's the season of crappy horror movies! That's unfortunately what we as moviegoers are subjected to on an annual basis. A couple of long-running franchises such as Paranormal Activity or Saw release their next terrible installments, and a few newcomers typically fall flat. This weekend, we have a horror newbie...

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REVIEW: In The Oranges, the Old Cow Eating the Young Grass Does Not Lead to a Happy Movie

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, October 6, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 

The Oranges





Directed By: Julian Farino

Starring: Hugh Laurie, Leighton Meester, Catherine Keener, Adam Brody, Alia Shawkat, Oliver Platt, and Allison Janney

New Jersey.  The Garden State.  The state where you can't pump your own gas.  It's not exactly the hottest travel destination (for good reason).  It's suburbia.  It's where urbanites go to die.  With this in mind, it's the perfect location for a film like the dramedy The Oranges.  Nothing quite says quintessential suburban life like the ...


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REVIEW: I'm Not Getting Good Vibrations About The Paperboy. This is a Weird One!

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, October 6, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 

The Paperboy





Directed By: Lee Daniels

Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Zac Efron, Nicole Kidman, John Cusack, David Oyelowo, Macy Gray, and Scott Glenn

Every once in a while, I catch a flick that leaves me feeling weird afterward.  I don't know quite how to describe it.  A film of this nature leaves me with seven words streaming through my mind: "What the hell did I just watch?".  These flicks typically come out of left field, and it takes a while for me to process everything I've witnessed.  ...


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REVIEW: When a Dog Gets a Bone, It Makes a Sequel...Taken 2

Posted by James Brown on Friday, October 5, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 

Taken 2





Directed By: Olivier Megaton

Starring: Liam Neeson, Maggie Grace, Famke Janssen, and Rade Šerbedžija

Taken was one awesome movie.  Despite the mediocrity around him, Liam Neeson rose to the occasion to turn a formulaic action flick into something much, much more.  Over the last four years, the film has become a beloved cult film.  When I first learned of the sequel Taken 2, I thought Liam Neeson would come back and give us everything we loved about the original all over again.  It ...


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REVIEW: Hotel Transylvania May Be Paradise for Monsters, But It's Not My Zing

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 30, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 

Hotel Transylvania

Kids' Rating:


Adults' Rating:




Directed By: Genndy Tartakovsky

Starring: Adam Sandler, Selena Gomez, Andy Samberg, Kevin James, Fran Drescher, John Lovitz, Cee Lo Green, Steve Buscemi, Molly Shannon, and David Spade

Animated films have really taken a dark turn in recent weeks.  While we had lighter films like The Lorax and Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted earlier in the year, we've now got studios bringing all kinds of monsters, ghouls, and witches to life for the kids.  We...


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REVIEW: Though Won't Back Down Says "Yes We Can", This Movie Really Has No Hope

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 30, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 

Won't Back Down





Directed By: Daniel Barnz

Starring: Maggie Gyllenhaal, Viola Davis, Holly Hunter, Oscar Isaac, Rosie Perez, Ving Rhames, and Marianne Jean-Baptiste

Sometimes, I watch a trailer, and I just know a movie will be bad.  I don't have to have any reasons.  I don't have to have any evidence.  I just know.  More often than not, I'm unfortunately right.  I just knew that I was in for a bad one when I saw the trailer for the drama Won't Back Down several months ago.  Because the movie ...


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REVIEW: Butter - Jennifer Garner Versus An African Iowan

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, September 30, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Butter
SoberFilmChick




Directed by: Jim Field Smith

Starring:  Jennifer Garner, Ty Burrell, Olivia Wilde, Yara Shahidi, Hugh Jackman, Alicia Silverstone


When I saw the trailer for Butter, I was incredibly excited. The premise looked interesting; and the cast boasted movie stars, as well as television actors from Modern Family, The Office and 30 Rock.  Moreover, it is a Weinstein Company production. How could it go wrong?  Having just viewed Butter, I must say that the film did not disappoint.

Butte...
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REVIEW: Looper Closes the Loop. Bruce Willis is Killing It!

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, September 29, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 

Looper





Directed By: Rian Johnson

Starring: Bruce Willis, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Emily Blunt, Paul Dano, Noah Segan, Piper Perabo, and Jeff Daniels

Time travel is quintessentially sci-fi.  Some of the greatest sci-fi flicks have turned the time and space continuum on its head.  What would cinema be like today if Marty McFly never went back to 1955 or if the Terminator never went back in time to kill John Connor?  Time travel is a cornerstone of the science fiction genre, and Rian Johnson decid...


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REVIEW: Dear Friend, The Perks of Being a Wallflower is Infinitely Entertaining

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, September 29, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 

The Perks of Being a Wallflower





Directed By: Stephen Chbosky

Starring: Logan Lerman, Emma Watson, Ezra Miller, Paul Rudd, Kate Walsh, and Dylan McDermott

It's been a long time since we've had a good teen movie.  These days, Hollywood spews crap at us like Prom and I Love You, Beth Cooper.  It's rare that we actually get a worthwhile flick that deals with growing up, surviving high school, and finding the right group of friends.  It's been a long time since the heyday of John Hughes when we w...


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REVIEW: In The Master, Paul Thomas Anderson Finds His Inherent State of Perfect

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 23, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 

The Master





Directed By: Paul Thomas Anderson

Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Amy Adams, Laura Dern, Jesse Plemons, and Ambyr Childers

It's been awhile since we've seen Paul Thomas Anderson at work.  It's been five years since Daniel Day-Lewis struck oil in Anderson's There Will Be Blood.  Now, Anderson has returned to the big screen with The Master, an ambitious, challenging masterpiece.  Featuring Joaquin Phoenix, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and Amy Adams, the film delves int...


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REVIEW: End of Watch is a Cop Mockumentary with a Foul Mouth

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 23, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 

End of Watch





Directed By: David Ayer

Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Michael Peña, Anna Kendrick, Natalie Martinez, America Ferrera, Frank Grillo, and David Harbour

We've had our fair share of bromances this year.  With This Means War, 21 Jump Street, and Savages having already rolled into theaters in the last several months, it's safe to say that there has been plenty of male bonding on the big screen.  With David Ayer's cop mockumentary End of Watch hitting movie theaters this weekend, it's al...


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REVIEW: Trouble with the Curve Has a Little Trouble of Its Own...Moneyball

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, September 22, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 

Trouble with the Curve





Directed By: Robert Lorenz

Starring: Clint Eastwood, Amy Adams, Justin Timberlake, Matthew Lillard, and John Goodman

As most of you know by now, Clint Eastwood made some rather interesting remarks at the Republican National Convention several weeks ago to an empty chair in which an invisible Obama supposedly sat.  While I believe his comments were insulting to the presidency, I have a website to run, and I have to be able to separate the political activist from the scr...


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REVIEW: As Judge, Jury, and Executioner, the Sentence is Always Death with Dredd

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, September 22, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 

Dredd





Directed By: Pete Travis

Starring: Karl Urban, Olivia Thirlby, Wood Harris, and Lena Headey

The fall movie season is officially under way.  In other words, it's a sad time for me.  We're no longer getting those awesome blockbusters with big stars like The Avengers or The Dark Knight Rises, and we're waiting on the awards season to really get started (though the release of The Master is duly noted).  It's most evident this weekend with Dredd, a film based on the futuristic British comic...


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REVIEW: Carrie Ann Is Insane in House at the End of the Street

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Friday, September 21, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 

House at the End of the Street
SoberFilmChick




Directed By: Mark Tonderai

Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Max Thieriot, Gil Bellows, Elisabeth Shue, and Eva Link

As I have said before in prior reviews of horror flicks, Jason, Freddy and Michael Myers do not scare me.  However, the depiction of truly insane people freaks me out.  Any time I see a female walking around in white pajamas with hair in her face and one crazy eye showing, I’m ready to run for the border.  Call it The Ring effect.  Hou...


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REVIEW: For the Love of Ludo, Little White Lies Reveals His Real Friends and the Weasels

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 16, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Little White Lies





Directed By: Guillaume Canet

Starring: François Cluzet, Marion Cotillard, Benoît Magimel, Gilles Lellouche, Jean Dujardin, Laurent Lafitte, Valérie Bonetton, and Pascale Arbillot


Lies almost always catch up with you, especially the small ones. The worst lies are those that you tell yourself. You can't evade the truth forever. Sometimes it just comes crashing down on you, and you're absolutely helpless when it does. This is definitely the case for a group of longtime friends ...

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REVIEW: When the Angel of Death Faces the Power of Prayer, We Get Chicken with Plums

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, September 16, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
Chicken with Plums





Directed By: Marjane Satrapi and Vincent Paronnaud

Starring: Mathieu Amalric, Edouard Baer, Maria de Medeiros, Golshifteh Farahani, Eric Caravaca, and Chiara Mastroianni

A title can sometimes tell you everything about a movie long before you see it or absolutely nothing at all.  Of all the movie titles I've encountered over the years, I have to say Chicken with Plums might just be the most enigmatic I've ever heard.  When I first learned of this movie, my initial thought was "...
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REVIEW: With Fraud & Involuntary Manslaughter on His Résumé, Robert Miller Has No Problem Playing the Devilish Role of the Patriarch in Arbitrage

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, September 15, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Arbitrage





Directed By: Nicholas Jarecki

Starring: Richard Gere, Susan Sarandon, Tim Roth, Brit Marling, Nate Parker, and Laetitia Casta

Well, I'm back.  While I've been gallivanting around Spain and Portugal, I didn't miss much based on what I've been reading.  The Words and The Cold Light of Day tanked from the start, and the box office suffered its worst weekend in nearly four years.  It sounds like I picked the right time to go on vacation.  Now that I'm back on the movie scene, the first ite...
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REVIEW: Resident Evil: Retribution – A Played Out Video Game With No Plot

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, September 15, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Resident Evil: Retribution
SoberFilmChick








Directed by: Paul W.S. Anderson
Starring:  Milla Jovovich, Michelle Rodriguez, Boris Kodjoe, Shawn Roberts, Bingbing Li, Oded Fehr, Sienna Guillory


When a film is not screened in advance of its release by critics, that is usually because the movie sucks, and the studios are trying to avoid negative buzz dampening opening weekend.  Resident Evil: Retribution was not screened by critics in advance and after suffering through the film, I can understand why.

T...
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REVIEW: The Words: Incomplete

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, September 9, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
The Words
SoberFilmChick







Directed by: Brian Klugman and Lee Sternthal

Starring:  Bradley Cooper, Zoe Saldana, Dennis Quaid, Jeremy Irons, Olivia Wilde


I hate to quote the President in a film review, but if I had to give The Words a grade, it would be “Incomplete.”  That is how I felt as the credits rolled, and I daresay most other viewers felt the same way. But I am jumping ahead of myself.  Let’s start at the beginning.

The Words is a story within a story within a story.  Clayton Hammond (D...
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REVIEW: The Cold Light Of Day: Sigourney And Bruce Still Kickin’ Butt

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, September 8, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
The Cold Light Of Day
SoberFilmChick





Directed by: Mabrouk El Mechri

Starring:  Henry Cavill, Sigourney Weaver, Bruce Willis, Caroline Goodall, Rafi Gavron

I have a confession to make: I had multiple films on tap this weekend and I knew The Cold Light Of Day starred Bruce Willis.  But somehow I confused The Cold Light Of Day with Bruce’s other upcoming September film, Looper.  So as I sat down excited to see a time jumping action flick, I saw Henry Cavill, and I thought to myself, “Superman is...
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REVIEW: With Jackals, DustBuster Olympics, and Pizza Pillows, Sleepwalk with Me is All About the Dreams

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, September 1, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Sleepwalk with Me





Directed By: Mike Birbiglia

Starring: Mike Birbiglia, Lauren Ambrose, Carol Kane, James Rebhorn, and Cristin Millioti

I used to sleepwalk.  When I was a kid, I would get up in the middle of the night and just do stuff.  Regardless of whatever the hell I was doing at that time of night, somebody usually would wake up and take notice.  Often times, my mom would hear me rumbling through the house and just tell me to go back to bed.  As an obedient sleepwalker, I would just do it. ...
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REVIEW: For a Good Time, Call...1-900-MMM-HMMM, a Phone Sex Hotline That'll Keep You Busting Out Laughing

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, September 1, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
For a Good Time, Call...





Directed By: Jamie Travis

Starring: Lauren Miller, Ari Graynor, Justin Long, Seth Rogen, Mimi Rogers, and Kevin Smith

For moviegoers everywhere, there's nothing worse than a studio spoiling a film with a trailer that reveals too much.  We've all been there.  It's when a movie is nothing more than an extended version of a trailer.  It's a damn shame.  It's really bad for comedies because then the film's best jokes aren't even funny.  You've laughed at them already.  There...
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REVIEW: The Possession: A Lightweight Exorcist Loosely Based On A True Story

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, September 1, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
The Possession
SoberFilmChick





Directed by: Ole Bornedal

Starring:  Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Kyra Sedgwick, Natasha Calis, Grant Show, Madison Davenport


I am not bothered by horror movies involving random killers like Jason, Freddy or Michael Myers.  However, insanity, demons, possession and creepy kids (i.e. The Ring) freak me the hell out.  So when I received the assignment to check out the new film The Possession, I was not thrilled to have to watch a tale about a possessed little girl, especially ...
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REVIEW: The Moonshine Bootlegging Bondurant Brothers May Think They're Invincible, But Lawless Shows All Their Flaws

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, August 30, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Lawless





Directed By: John Hillcoat

Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Tom Hardy, Gary Oldman, Mia Wasikowska, Jessica Chastain, Jason Clarke, Guy Pearce, and Dane DeHaan

On paper, Lawless may be the perfect movie for me.  I've been in need of a good crime movie as of late.  They're so rare these days.  On top of that, it's about moonshine bootlegging during Prohibition.  That's just about as good as it gets for the SoberFilmCritic.  That being said, Lawless doesn't fully realize its potential as director J...
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REVIEW: Bachelorette: Mean Girls As Bridesmaids Kind Of Sucks

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Wednesday, August 29, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Bachelorette
SoberFilmChick




Directed by: Leslye Headland

Starring:  Kirsten Dunst, Isla Fisher, Lizzy Caplan, Adam Scott, James Marsden, and Rebel Wilson


Well color me disappointed.  I have seen promos for Bachelorette On Demand for the last few weeks and I was incredibly excited to see the movie.  The film features some of my favorite comedic actors: Isla Fisher, James Marsden, and Adam Scott (fresh off of a hilarious turn in Friends with Kids).  Moreover, it was produced by Will Ferrell and Ada...
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REVIEW: With Spankings, Jumping Jacks, & Rape, Compliance Shows That Prank Phone Calls Aren't So Harmless

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, August 26, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
Compliance





Directed By: Craig Zobel


Starring: Ann Dowd, Dreama Walker, and Pat Healy

With Killer Joe earlier this month, I thought I had seen the sickest stuff I would see this summer.  It's an NC-17 film, so there shouldn't really be anything else that can leave me in a cold, dejected state quite like that.  What could top what Matthew McConaughey's Joe did with a chicken leg from KFC?  Well, I found it in Craig Zobel's Compliance.  Apparently, sick, twisted prank phone calls are more unnerving...
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REVIEW: When the Rat Becomes the Unit of Currency, a Specter by the Name of Robert Pattinson Haunts Cosmopolis

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, August 26, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Cosmopolis





Directed By: David Cronenberg

Starring: Robert Pattinson, Paul Giamatti, Samantha Morton, Sarah Gadon, Mathieu Amalric, Juliette Binoche, and Kevin Durand

As I mentioned in my review of Robot & Frank, the other futuristic movie this weekend is David Cronenberg's Cosmopolis.  Before I began writing this review, I did something I rarely do.  I went to Rotten Tomatoes to check out the Tomatometer, and I was thoroughly disappointed.  Apparently, Cosmopolis has a rating of 64% on RT.  That...
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REVIEW: With Memory Problems, Gardening, and Theft, Robot & Frank Showcases How Old People are Sharper Than You Think

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 25, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Robot & Frank





Directed By: Jake Schreier

Starring: Frank Langella, Peter Sarsgaard, James Marsden, Liv Tyler, and Susan Sarandon

Indie cinema is all about the future this weekend.  With David Cronenberg's Cosmopolis and Jake Schreier's Robot & Frank, we've got two different movies at the indie box office that look ahead to what’s next for mankind.  While I'll talk about Cosmopolis later this weekend, I'd like to take a little time to talk about the futuristic comedy-drama Robot & Frank and how...
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REVIEW: While No Brakes May Mean Death for Wilee, Premium Rush is the Deadliest Thing of All for the Coyote Man

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 25, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Premium Rush





Directed By: David Koepp

Starring: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Michael Shannon, Aaron Tveit, Dania Ramirez, and Jamie Chung

For all of us drivers out there who live in or near a major city, I have to say one thing.  Bikers suck and can be annoying as hell.  They're either hogging too much road thereby slowing us down or they're acting crazy and trying to get us killed in accidents.  With this in mind, I come to David Koepp's Premium Rush a very jaded moviegoer.  It's hard for me to feel e...
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REVIEW: 2 Days In New York: An Understated Chris Rock Shines In This Cross-Cultural Rom Com

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Tuesday, August 21, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
2 Days In New York
SoberFilmChick





Directed by: Julie Delpy


Starring:  Chris Rock, Julie Delpy, Dylan Baker, Albert Delpy, Alexia Landeau


2 Days in New York is a funny independent film that serves as a sequel to Julie Delpy’s 2 Days in Paris.   Written, directed by and starring Delpy, the film follows 38 year old Marion who is in a loving relationship with Mingus (Chris Rock).  Both Mingus and Marion have children from prior relationships and they have carved out a sweet life in Manhattan for th...
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REVIEW: Norman May Be a Freak, But ParaNorman Freakin' Rocks

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 18, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
ParaNorman





Directed By: Sam Fell and Chris Butler

Starring: Kodi Smit-McPhee, Tucker Albrizzi, Anna Kendrick, Casey Affleck, John Goodman, Leslie Mann, Jeff Garlin, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, and Elaine Stritch

In recent years, animated films have been walking a fine line.  They keep the kiddies entertained with the silly stuff, but they incorporate nuggets of humor for the adults that should fly right over the kids' heads.  If mom and dad are forced to go see a cartoon about an ogre in a world o...
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REVIEW: Despite All the Cheese, The Expendables 2 Reunites the Babysitters with the Lone Wolf Chuck Norris. No Matter How Bad It Gets, You Can't Go Wrong with Chuck.

Posted by James Brown on Friday, August 17, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
The Expendables 2





Directed By: Simon West

Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Chuck Norris, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, Liam Hemsworth, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger

It's time for the AARP's annual night at the movies, and we've got a few special guests.  Sylvester Stallone, a guy who lives in the past and misses his glory days, will be serving as the MC.  Former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger will be strutting into the...
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REVIEW: While He's the Boy Who Keeps on Giving Leaves, Timothy Green Is Far from Perfect & Leads an Odd Life

Posted by James Brown on Friday, August 17, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
The Odd Life of Timothy Green





Directed By: Peter Hedges

Starring: Jennifer Garner, Joel Edgerton, CJ Adams, Ron Livingston, Dianne Wiest, Odeya Rush, Rosemarie DeWitt, Lin-Manuel Miranda, M. Emmet Walsh, Lois Smith, David Morse, and Common

August is the anti-climactic part of the summer movie season.  Every year, we basically get the same thing.  We'll get a healthy dose of B movies, awful horror flicks, and one or two sappy films.  This year, one of those sappy movies is The Odd Life of Timothy...
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REVIEW: Aaron Cross Takes Up the Bourne Legacy, While Sin-Eater Eric Byer Tries to Burn Operation Outcome Down to the Ground

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 11, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
The Bourne Legacy





Directed By: Tony Gilroy

Starring: Jeremy Renner, Rachel Weisz, Edward Norton, Joan Allen, and Albert Finney

The Bourne Legacy is a film that's had a shadow cast over it from the day it was announced.  It's the Jason Bourne movie without Jason Bourne.  With Paul Greengrass and Matt Damon departing the franchise, it's a new chapter in the series.  Tony Gilroy (Michael Clayton, Duplicity) is taking the director's chair from Greengrass, while Jeremy Renner (The Avengers, Mission: ...
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REVIEW: The Campaign is Taking Care of Business

Posted by James Brown on Friday, August 10, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
The Campaign





Directed By: Jay Roach

Starring: Will Ferrell, Zach Galifianakis, Jason Sudeikis, Katherine LaNasa, Dylan McDermott, John Lithgow, Dan Aykroyd, and Brian Cox

I am sick and tired of hearing about Mitt Romney and Barack Obama this year.  I'm sick of the constant barrage of ads.  I'm sick of the incessant media coverage.  I'm sick of obvious half-truths.  I'm sure the election season has gotten on your nerves as well.  With this in mind, Jay Roach's The Campaign could not have had bett...
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REVIEW: Dr. Feld Breaks Some Noses to Get Things Going for Arnold and Kay in Hope Springs

Posted by James Brown on Friday, August 10, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Hope Springs





Directed By: David Frankel

Starring: Meryl Streep, Tommy Lee Jones, Steve Carell, and Elisabeth Shue

Life is good for Meryl Streep this year.  She's added another statue named Oscar to her award shelf.  She's considered by most to be the greatest living actress.  She's enjoying her status as acting royalty and taking her career in whatever direction she chooses.  Now that she's brought The Iron Lady to the big screen, the legendary actress is joining forces with Tommy Lee Jones to e...
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REVIEW: Killer Joe Actually Made KFC Disgusting. No More Chicken for Me.

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, August 5, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Killer Joe





Directed By: William Friedkin

Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Emile Hirsch, Juno Temple, Gina Gershon, and Thomas Haden Church

The feared NC-17 rating is a label few studios and filmmakers willingly embrace.  These bold few often take sex and violence to new heights.  They defy the MPAA and do what they need to do to get their message across in an artistic way.  It's been nine months since an NC-17 film has graced even a handful of theaters around the country.  While Steve McQueen's Sh...
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REVIEW: While the Fall Enslaves Us All, Bad Filmmaking Enslaves Total Recall

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, August 4, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Total Recall





Directed By: Len Wiseman

Starring: Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, Bryan Cranston, John Cho, and Bill Nighy

Remakes are a dime a dozen in Hollywood.  To an extent, it's understandable.  After more than a century of making movies, there are only so many ways you can make a film with a happy ending.  However, we should never stop trying to make fresh, innovative movies.  Sadly, Hollywood has gone and done just the opposite.  Studios aren't really creative anymore.  They ...
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REVIEW: Farewell, My Queen is the Wrong Title for This Movie. 'Goodbye' is Not in Sidonie's Vocabulary

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, July 29, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Farewell, My Queen





Directed By: Benoít Jacquot

Starring: Diane Kruger, Léa Seydoux, and Virginie Ledoyen

I can't lie.  When I first heard of Farewell, My Queen, I thought it would be a rather steamy film that highlighted an alleged lesbian romance between Marie-Antoinette and the Duchess of Polignac with the French Revolution as the backdrop for the film.  As it turns out, it's just the opposite.  This lesbian romance is emphasized in the film but takes a backseat to the French Revolution and ...
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REVIEW: In Trishna, Freida Pinto Blossoms Like a Jasmine Flower & Then Shows Us the Sad Truth Love Has Taught Her

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, July 29, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Trishna





Directed By: Michael Winterbottom

Starring: Freida Pinto and Riz Ahmed

I love movies about Indians.  There's something special about getting exposure to Indian culture on the big screen—their music, their dance, their arts.  These movies are often uniquely enjoyable experiences.  To some extent, it's like traveling without actually going anywhere.  With the British drama Trishna, we get just that, a healthy dose of Indian culture.

Jay (Riz Ahmed) and his friends are traveling in India. ...
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REVIEW: Step Up Revolution – So You Think You Can Dance Does The Movies

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, July 29, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Step Up Revolution
SoberFilmChick




Directed By: Scott Speer

Starring: Kathryn McCormick, Ryan Guzman, Adam G. Sevani, and Peter Gallagher

Despite Soberfilmcritic’s blistering reviews of the Step Up series, we here at STMR love dance movies.  Correction-I love dance movies.  How could I not?  As a child of the 1980’s, I grew up in the Flashdance, Footloose, Staying Alive, Dirty Dancing era.  Cheesy dance movies are my forte.  So I gladly volunteered to see Step Up Revolution and save my fellow ...
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REVIEW: With Orgies, Magnum Condoms, & Green Semen, The Watch Keeps Its Eye on All Kinds of Sex But Not Another Damn Thing

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, July 28, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
The Watch





Directed By: Akiva Schaffer

Starring: Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill, Richard Ayoade, and Rosemarie DeWitt

This final weekend in July feels like déjà vu.  Around this time last year, I was talking about the film Cowboys & Aliens and how it failed to live up to its hype.  Despite all its talent in front of and behind the camera, the film couldn't deal with the complicated task of being a sci-fi western.  Aliens don't fit too well in a world of cops and robbers.  As it turns out...
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REVIEW: When Calvin Makes Ruby Sparks Real, She Becomes a Dream Come True for Moviegoers

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, July 26, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Ruby Sparks





Directed By: Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris

Starring: Paul Dano, Zoe Kazan, Antonio Banderas, Annette Bening, Steve Coogan, Elliott Gould, and Chris Messina

With The Dark Knight Rises rocking the mainstream box office right now, I've been waiting to see what indie cinema would provide as counter-programming to the year's most anticipated summer blockbuster.  It seems they've decided upon Ruby Sparks this week.  As opposed to a dark superhero tale full of pain and struggles, we hav...
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REVIEW: He May Only Find Pain When He Gets Back in the Game, But The Dark Knight Rises to the Occasion

Posted by James Brown on Friday, July 20, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
The Dark Knight Rises (TDKR)





Directed By: Christopher Nolan

Starring: Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, Anne Hathaway, Tom Hardy, Marion Cotillard, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Morgan Freeman


During a summer blockbuster season that's offered moviegoers ass-kicking Avengers, web-slinging heroes, time-traveling secret agents, and weed-smoking teddy bears, the Dark Knight has finally arrived!  It's been four years since Christopher Nolan's landmark film The Dark Knight, and not much has chan...

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REVIEW: Despite Manipulative Sirens, Pirate Apes, & Continental Drifts, Ice Age Understands the Most Important Thing — Family

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, July 14, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Ice Age: Continental Drift





Directed By: Steve Martino and Mike Thurmeier

Starring: Ray Romano, John Leguizamo, Denis Leary, Queen Latifah, Seann William Scott, Josh Peck, Keke Palmer, Chris Wedge, Peter Dinklage, Jennifer Lopez, Wanda Sykes, Drake, and Nicki Minaj

If Paramount hadn't chickened out with G.I. Joe: Retaliation last month, this could have been a more interesting weekend at the movies.  If the studio didn’t push the film out to March 2013 to "convert it to 3D", we would have had so...
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REVIEW: Take This Waltz — Playful Flirtation, Lust, Marriage and The “A” Word

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, July 8, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Take This Waltz
SoberFilmChick




Directed By: Sarah Polley

Starring: Michelle Williams, Seth Rogen, Sarah Silverman, and Luke Kirby

It is incredibly difficult to tell an original story about love and marriage.  Let’s face it, romance has been stirred, beaten and cooked to death by books, television and movies.  But with Take This Waltz, Director Sarah Polley offers a fresh and real perspective on marriage and relationships between men and women.

Margot (Michelle Williams) is a young married writer...
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REVIEW: For the Love of Strong Weed, Savages Gets Down to Bloody Business

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, July 8, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Savages





Directed By: Oliver Stone

Starring: Taylor Kitsch, Aaron Johnson, Blake Lively, Salma Hayek, Benicio del Toro, Emile Hirsch, and John Travolta

We're at the peak of the summer movie season.  There is something for everybody right now.  We've got a lot in theaters, but we really hadn't had a movie that gets down and dirty in a bloody, brutal way until now.  This weekend Oliver Stone comes to fill this void with his new movie Savages.  With all the sex, drugs, and guns in this flick, you'll...
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REVIEW: As the Fabric of Her Universe Unravels, Hushpuppy Learns How to Survive in the Bathtub in Beasts of the Southern Wild

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, July 7, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Beasts of the Southern Wild





Directed By: Benh Zeitlin

Starring: Quvenzhané Wallis and Dwight Henry

"The whole universe depends on everything fitting together just right. If one piece busts, even the smallest piece... the whole universe will get busted."
-Hushpuppy (Quvenzhané Wallis)


The SoberFilmCritic has the inside scoop for you today.  I just checked out Beasts of the Southern Wild, an indie based on Lucy Alibar's play Juicy and Delicious.  The moviegoers in my screening got a special treat....
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REVIEW: In a World Without Weakness, The Amazing Spider-Man Nearly Succeeds at Becoming Amazing

Posted by James Brown on Tuesday, July 3, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
The Amazing Spider-Man





Directed By: Marc Webb

Starring: Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Rhys Ifans, Martin Sheen, Sally Field, Irrfan Khan, and Chris Zylka

Ten years ago, Sam Raimi's Spider-Man changed the landscape of comic book movies.  The film is considered one of the greatest comic book flicks of all time.  Fast forward five years, and you'll get the regrettable Spider-Man 3.  The film tried to do too much.  Now that another five years have passed, we've arrived at the inevitable reboot, perha...
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REVIEW: In People Like Us, Sam Leans Into It Despite the Fact That He Has a Certain Talent for Running Away From His Family's Drama

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 30, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
People Like Us





Directed By: Alex Kurtzman

Starring: Chris Pine, Olivia Wilde, Elizabeth Banks, Michelle Pfeiffer, Mark Duplass, and Jon Favreau

You don't see too many mainstream family dramas coming out at this time of year.  With films like Ted, Magic Mike, and The Amazing Spider-Man getting all the buzz, a good family drama is likely to be a flop at the box office.  People Like Us is an interesting choice for release on 4th of July weekend.  It's a great movie.  Sadly, it's also a film that's ...
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REVIEW: Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Witness Protection: Time For Madea To Retire

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, June 30, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Madea's Witness Protection
SoberFilmChick




Directed By: Tyler Perry

Starring: Tyler Perry, Eugene Levy, Denise Richards, Romeo Miller, Doris Roberts, and Marla Gibbs

While I like Tyler Perry, I suspect that he has run out of good ideas for his most famous character, Madea.  Madea’s Witness Protection is just one stereotype and predictable joke after another.  Rich white family?  Check.  Working class black family?  Check.  Rich white family comes into contact with black family and become fish ou...
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REVIEW: Magic Mike — I Want To Go To There, But Only For Channing Tatum’s Dancing

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, June 30, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Magic Mike
SoberFilmChick




Directed By: Steven Soderbergh

Starring: Channing Tatum, Alex Pettyfer, Cody Horn, Matt Bomer, Joe Manganiello, and Matthew McConaughey

When women saw the Magic Mike movie trailer, I believe they said, a la Liz Lemon on 30 Rock, “I want to go to there.”  My Magic Mike movie experience was a riot, but it wasn’t due to the actual movie.  I arrived at my theater and saw hundreds of women in a line that roped to the theater doors waiting for entry into Magic Mike.  Men...
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REVIEW: In To Rome With Love, Woody Allen Gives Us Inexplicable Fame, Passionate Romance, and Impeccable Singing in the Shower

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 30, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
To Rome With Love





Directed By: Woody Allen

Starring: Woody Allen, Alec Baldwin, Roberto Benigni, Penélope Cruz, Judy Davis, Jesse Eisenberg, Greta Gerwig, and Ellen Page

I need to get on Woody Allen's travel tip.  This man is getting everywhere.  I am so jealous.  I look at his "work" locations and feel like a bum.  I need to step my travel game up a few notches.  This guy has taken us to the count city in Vicky Cristina Barcelona.  He's taken us to the city of light in Midnight in Paris.  Now,...
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REVIEW: Ted Can't Quite Find the Right Gear, But He Can Show Some Love for Flash Gordon's Sam Jones

Posted by James Brown on Friday, June 29, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Ted





Directed By: Seth MacFarlane,

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Seth MacFarlane, Giovanni Ribisi, Jessica Stroup, and Patrick Warburton

This summer has not been a good one for comedies.  After last year's surprise hit Bridesmaids, I've been waiting for something great this year.  Last week's Seeking a Friend for the End of the World was decent.  In May, The Dictator was just okay.  Tim Burton's Dark Shadows brought the freaks to help kick off the summer, but not the laughs.  All of this ...
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REVIEW: God Bless America — A Vicious Indictment of American Culture

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Monday, June 25, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
God Bless America
SoberFilmChick




Directed By: Bobcat Goldthwait

Starring: Joel Murray, Tara Lynne Barr, Mackenzie Brooke Smith, and Melinda Page Hamilton

In the opening scene of God Bless America, the antihero dreams of going next door and shooting his incredibly obnoxious neighbors.  He shoots the father and then shoots the baby as blood splatters all over the mother.  As a viewer, at that point, I had to decide whether to follow my instinct and recoil from the sight or momentarily suspend my ho...
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REVIEW: You Can Get All Your Classic Rock While Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 23, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Seeking a Friend for the End of the World





Directed By: Lorene Scafaria

Starring: Steve Carell, Keira Knightley, Rob Corddry, Patton Oswalt, Adam Brody, Derek Luke, and Martin Sheen

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think Steve Carell has been typecast as an actor.  In one way or another, he always plays somebody with an emotional imbalance.  His characters are either way too jolly or way too depressing.  He hardly ever plays normal people.  Just look back at a long list of films ranging fro...
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REVIEW: History Remembers the Battle But Forgets the Blood. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Remembers the Blood But Forgets How to Make a Good Movie

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 23, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter





Directed By: Timur Bekmambetov

Starring: Benjamin Walker, Dominic Cooper, Anthony Mackie, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Rufus Sewell, and Marton Csokas

"History prefers legends to men, nobility to brutality, soaring speeches to quiet deeds.  History remembers the battles, but forgets the blood.  If history remembers me at all, it will only be a fraction of the truth."
-Abraham Lincoln (Benjamin Walker)


Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.  Based on the title alone, this film...
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REVIEW: In the Matter of Lola Versus Love, Saturn Is Telling Lola to Be Selfish and Do Her

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, June 17, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Lola Versus





Directed By: Daryl Wein

Starring: Greta Gerwig, Zoe Lister Jones, Bill Pullman, Hamish Linklater, Debra Winger, Joel Kinnaman, and Cheyenne Jackson

Greta Gerwig has been a very busy woman this year.  She's been all over indie cinema in 2012.  We saw her in Damsels in Distress a couple of months ago.  We've got her in Lola Versus this week.  We'll even be seeing her in Woody Allen's To Rome With Love later this month.  In her current film Lola Versus, Gerwig stars as a young woman str...
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REVIEW: That's My Boy Sucks. Wassssssssssuuuuup With That?

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, June 17, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
That's My Boy





Directed By: Sean Anders

Starring: Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg, and Leighton Meester

Hollywood has decided to travel back in time this weekend.  We're going back to the 80s!  With the star-studded musical Rock of Ages and the new Adam Sandler comedy That's My Boy, we're getting a double dose of the past.  Unfortunately for Happy Madison and Adam Sandler, going back in time won't help to undo the damage done to their brand in recent years with films like Jack & Jill.  That's My Boy i...
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REVIEW: The Indian & the Lesbian Get Some Good Work Experience By Stalking Folks & Traveling Back in Time in Safety Not Guaranteed

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 16, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Safety Not Guaranteed





Directed By: Colin Trevorrow

Starring: Aubrey Plaza, Jake Johnson, Karan Soni, and Mark Duplass

"Wanted: Somebody to go back in time with me.  This is not a joke.  You'll get paid after we get back.  Must bring your own weapons.  I have only done this once before.  Safety not guaranteed."
-Classified Ad

There's a thin line between genius and insanity.  More often than not, we label somebody as cuckoo when they're trying to think outside the box and do something others would d...
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REVIEW: Getting Drunk, Going Down, & Getting Weird. Jack and Hannah Clearly Have a Good Time in Your Sister's Sister

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 16, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Your Sister's Sister





Directed By: Lynn Shelton

Starring: Emily Blunt, Rosemarie DeWitt, and Mark Duplass

If a guy and a girl are best friends for a long period of time, chances are that they're going to fall in love some time down the road if they haven't done so already.  It's been proven time and time again in life.  It's even been proven on the big screen.  From When Harry Met Sally... to Zack and Miri Make a Porno, there are tons of examples on film.  The latest movie about best friends fall...
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REVIEW: Rock of Ages — Rock-n-Roll, Sex, and 80’s Hair

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, June 16, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Rock of Ages
SoberFilmChick




Directed By: Adam Shankman

Starring: Julianne Hough, Diego Boneta, Russell Brand, Paul Giamatti, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Malin Akerman, Mary J. Blige, Alec Baldwin, and Tom Cruise

As a musical aficionado and a child of the 80’s, I was naturally chosen to review the highly anticipated Rock of Ages.  I wasn’t sure what to expect out of the film.  I had heard that Tom Cruise was phenomenal, and the movie trailer showed a lot of rock music, partying and big hair. That is...
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REVIEW: Bel Ami May Not Be a King, But Being a Manwhore Pays Well Enough

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 9, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Bel Ami





Directed By: Declan Donnellan and Nick Ormerod

Starring: Robert Pattinson, Uma Thurman, Kristin Scott Thomas, Christina Ricci, and Colm Meaney

I'm not going to sugarcoat it.  Robert Pattinson is not my favorite actor.  His Twilight flicks are everything movies shouldn't be — utter crap.  Team Edward has corrupted a generation of female moviegoers.  If his career in the acting world must continue, a film like Bel Ami is a good fit for him.  After all, playing a manwhore is a step up fro...
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REVIEW: Chickens, Sparrows, and Peacocks. Peace, Love & Misunderstanding Has a Serious Obsession with Birds...and Weed

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 9, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Peace, Love & Misunderstanding





Directed By: Bruce Beresford

Starring: Jane Fonda, Catherine Keener, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Elizabeth Olsen, Chace Crawford, Nat Wolff, Marissa O'Donnell, Kyle MacLachlan, and Rosanna Arquette

If you were a hippie back in the day, you're now officially old.  The 60s were a long, long time ago, and the world has changed quite a bit.  There's one thing that hasn't changed.  People still love weed.  That's why we need hippie grandmothers like Jane Fonda's Grace in Peace...
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REVIEW: With References Like Kool & the Gang and Earth, Wind & Fire, Driss Gives Us One Wild Ride in The Intouchables

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 9, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
The Intouchables





Directed By: Olivier Nakache and Éric Toledano

Starring: François Cluzet and Omar Sy

It was voted the cultural event of the year in France last year.  It's won countless awards.  It has enamored millions of international moviegoers and conquered the box office overseas, raking in hundreds of millions of dollars in the process.  The celebrated film The Intouchables has finally made it to the US.  With the rather tepid reception here though, it's been a bit anticlimactic.  A fil...
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REVIEW: Whether With a Feather Duster or the Jolly Molly, Hysteria Always Satisfies With Some Old School Sex Toys

Posted by James Brown on Friday, June 8, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Hysteria





Directed By: Tanya Wexler

Starring: Felicity Jones, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Hugh Dancy, Jonathan Pryce, and Rupert Everett

Before we arrived at the medical and scientific knowledge we have today, many doctors were educated fools.  You wouldn't believe what some of them thought back in the day.  Many completely disregarded science and ignored life-changing discoveries from the research of a few.  They didn't believe germs existed and fostered situations in which they hurt their patients far m...
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REVIEW: Prometheus Has Some Big Questions For the Engineers & the Real Engineer Ridley Scott Gives Some Damn Good Answers

Posted by James Brown on Friday, June 8, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Prometheus





Directed By: Ridley Scott

Starring: Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Guy Pearce, Idris Elba, Logan Marshall-Green, and Charlize Theron

It's been 33 years since Ridley Scott took us to LV-426.  After all this time, he's come back to the Alien universe to tell another epic sci-fi story.  Now, he takes us to LV-223 in his latest film Prometheus.  We've all seen the awesome marketing campaign for the film.  We've all been waiting for it and wondering what he'll bring to the table this ti...
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REVIEW: ¡Viva Cristo Rey! This Doesn't Mean You Won't Need Some Tequila During For Greater Glory Though

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, June 7, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
For Greater Glory





Directed By: Dean Wright

Starring: Andy Garcia, Eva Longoria, Eduardo Verástegui, Peter O'Toole, Bruce Greenwood, Oscar Isaac, and Nestor Carbonell

Religious tolerance has been a major issue throughout all of human history.  Nobody wants to be told by anyone else what to believe or what not to believe.  People want religious freedom (at least for themselves).  Nonetheless, what history remembers most often concerns those who are persecuted and denied the right to believe in wh...
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REVIEW: Sam, Suzy, & the Orchestra Bring the Thunder During the Black Beacon Storm in Moonrise Kingdom

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, June 2, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
Moonrise Kingdom





Directed By: Wes Anderson

Starring: Bruce Willis, Edward Norton, Bill Murray, Frances McDormand, Tilda Swinton, Jason Schwartzman, Bob Balaban, Jared Gilman, Kara Hayward, and Harvey Keitel

It's been a few years since we've seen Wes Anderson at the box office, and we've definitely missed his signature filmmaking style.  His eccentric visuals, his dry humor, and his caricatured characters are the things that make his films so special.  They're why we love his movies so much.  We ...
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REVIEW: Snow White and the Huntsman — Not Your Mother’s Fairytale

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, June 2, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Snow White and the Huntsman
SoberFilmChick




Directed By: Rupert Sanders

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Charlize Theron, Chris Hemsworth, Sam Claflin, and Ian McShane

Finally! Something has come along to erase the memory of Julia Roberts’ lackluster Snow White tale Mirror, Mirror from earlier this year.  If we had to ask the mirror on the wall which was the fairest film of all based on Snow White, The Huntsman would win by a landslide.  With sweeping cinematography, interesting characters, and a heft...
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REVIEW: Polisse. That's How the Good Lord Works

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 26, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
Polisse





Directed By: Maïwenn

Starring: Karin Viard, Joeystarr, Marina Foïs, Nicolas Duvauchelle, Karole Rocher, Emmanuelle Bercot, Frédéric Pierrot, Arnaud Henriet, Naidra Ayadi, Jérémie Elkaïm, and Maïwenn

Our society has a way of turning some of our more serious problems or struggles in life into entertainment.  Reality TV is a prime example of this.  It's turned love and relationships into a joke with shows like The Bachelor and Flavor of Love.  It's turned family life into a gag with...
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REVIEW: Men in Black 3 — Will Smith Is In The Building

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, May 26, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Men in Black 3
SoberFilmChick




Directed By: Barry Sonnenfeld

Starring: Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin, Jemaine Clement, Michael Stuhlbarg, and Emma Thompson

I have a confession to make: I love Will Smith.  Whether I’m watching him on reruns of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, watching him play a down on his luck homeless man in The Pursuit of Happyness, or seeing him backhand a rude reporter attempting to kiss him, I’m a fan.  Thus his hiatus for the last few years has been disappointing...
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REVIEW: Yes Amanda, Your Friends Are Morons and So Are You in Chernobyl Diaries

Posted by James Brown on Friday, May 25, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Chernobyl Diaries





Directed By: Bradley Parker

Starring: Jesse McCartney, Jonathan Sadowski, Devin Kelley, Olivia Taylor Dudley, Nathan Phillips, Ingrid Bolso Berdal, and Dimitri Diatchenko

Last month, I gave The Cabin in the Woods a 0.06% rating.  While the first half of the film was a little dry for my taste, the second half had me sitting on the edge of my seat.  I didn't realize it then, but I think Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard might have raised my standard for the horror genre by just a few ...
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REVIEW: What You're Fixin' to Get in Bernie is Some Good Old Texas Charm and a Damn Good Comedy

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 19, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Bernie





Directed By: Richard Linklater

Starring: Jack Black, Matthew McConaughey, and Shirley MacLaine

There's nothing quite like a small town, especially in the South.  Everybody is in everyone else's business like it's their job.  The townspeople think they know everything about everyone else.  Because of that, a man's reputation is everything.  Rumors and perception rule these cul de sacs.  Back in the 90s in a little town in East Texas named Carthage, a man named Bernie Tiede enamored the tow...
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REVIEW: The Dictator – Politically Incorrect Fun

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, May 19, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
The Dictator
SoberFilmChick




Directed By: Larry Charles

Starring: Sacha Baron Cohen, Anna Faris, Ben Kingsley, Megan Fox, and John C. Reilly

Do you know those jokes that are highly inappropriate and border on making you uncomfortable as a viewer?  Jokes that often result in nervous laughter or dead silence?  The Dictator is filled with those moments, but you cannot expect anything else from Sacha Baron Cohen.

Haffaz Aladeen (Cohen) is a ruthless dictator from the fictional north African country of ...
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REVIEW: What to Expect When You’re Expecting — Pregnancy Sucks

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, May 19, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
What to Expect When You're Expecting
SoberFilmChick




Directed By: Kirk Jones

Starring: Jennifer Lopez, Cameron Diaz, Matthew Morrison, Rodrigo Santoro, Elizabeth Banks, Anna Kendrick, Brooklyn Decker, Dennis Quaid, Chris Rock, Chace Crawford, and Cheryl Cole

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I read the best-selling book What to Expect When You’re Expecting and it really was a pregnancy “bible.”  So I was excited to see what the film would do with the topic of pregnancy and preparing for ...
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REVIEW: With Chicken Burritos, Mighty Mo, & the Art of War, Hasbro's Battleship is a Transformers Wannabe

Posted by James Brown on Friday, May 18, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Battleship





Directed By: Peter Berg

Starring: Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgård, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Liam Neeson

When I first heard of the movie Battleship, I laughed uncontrollably.  First of all, Hollywood is so desperate for money that they’re trying to turn a board game into a film.  Second, the film's got plenty of potential to have some terrible acting from a cast that includes the likes of Rihanna and Brooklyn Decker.  Finally, the awful trailers made it clear to me that Battlesh...
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REVIEW: The Perfect Family Plays Like a Lifetime Movie

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Wednesday, May 16, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
The Perfect Family
SoberFilmChick




Directed By: Anne Renton

Starring: Kathleen Turner, Emily Deschanel, and Jason Ritter

I am a huge Kathleen Turner fan. I grew up on films like Romancing the Stone and The War of the Roses.  So I was delighted when I was tasked to review The Perfect Family, Turner’s new indie flick.  While the film definitely has some bright moments, it unfortunately feels more like a made for television movie.

The Perfect Family follows Eileen Cleary (Turner), a dutiful Catholic...
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REVIEW: With Super Secret Handshakes, Earthworms, & Time Travel, Sound of My Voice Puts Its Own Spin on Cult Movies

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, May 13, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Sound of My Voice





Directed By: Zal Batmanglij

Starring: Christopher Denham, Nicole Vicius, and Brit Marling

Let's be real.  Cults are for suckers.  The weak-minded fools of the world believe any crap that their leaders spew, no matter how far-fetched it may be.  They just go along believing in their "wise" leaders and taking their marching orders.  That's what makes cult movies so interesting.  We get to watch these fools in action or what we imagine them to be.  Zal Batmanglij's Sound of My Voi...
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REVIEW: Blood Is Thicker Than Water, But Barnabas Fights on for the Collins Family in Vain in Dark Shadows

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 12, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Dark Shadows





Directed By: Tim Burton

Starring: Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Helena Bonham Carter, Eva Green, Jackie Earle Haley, Jonny Lee Miller, Chloë Grace Moretz, and Bella Heathcoate

When 21 Jump Street came out back in March, we all thought it was just another adaptation of a TV show to the big screen.  What was the point of bringing the 80s show back to life?  When Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum proved us wrong however, we couldn't have been happier.  I was hoping Dark Shadows, an adap...
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REVIEW: Sink or Swim, The Old Folks Do It Up in The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, May 5, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel





Directed By: John Madden

Starring: Judi Dench, Bill Nighy, Dev Patel, Celia Imrie, Ronald Pickup, Maggie Smith, Tom Wilkinson, and Penelope Wilton

"Everything will be alright in the end.  So if it's not alright, it is not yet the end."
-Sonny Kapoor (Dev Patel)

It's the summer blockbuster season once again, and we're at a time when all we get from Hollywood at the end of a hard week is a happy ending.  The world can be destroyed, but filmmakers have to make moviegoer...
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REVIEW: Monsieur Lazhar is the King of the Hill with a Classroom Full of Trees and Chrysalises

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 29, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Monsieur Lazhar
E7UBG7XVG7N8




Directed By: Philippe Falardeau

Starring: Mohamed Fellag, Sophie Nélisse, Émilien Néron, Danielle Proulx, Brigitte Poupart, and Jules Philip

A child's innocence is a one-time deal.  Once it's gone, it's gone for good.  That's why we as a society value it so much.  When a child is robbed of this innocence, it's a true tragedy.  That's why it's so incomprehensible that a suicidal teacher would hang herself in a classroom for all the school to see.  That's the proble...
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REVIEW: The Moth Diaries – 82 Minutes Too Long

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Sunday, April 29, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
The Moth Diaries
SoberFilmChick




Directed By: Mary Harron

Starring: Sarah Bolger, Lily Cole, Sarah Gadon, and Scott Speedman

The Moth Diaries is only 82 minutes in duration.  However, those 82 minutes felt like an eternity when I watched this uninteresting tale.  If only I had a time machine, I would go back and tell the SoberFilmCritic that I was not available to waste my time on this crap.  But we don’t have time for should have, could have, would have on STMR and every movie can’t be a gem....
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REVIEW: Leading Is Dangerous Business, and We Have a Pope Who Knows It

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 29, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
We Have a Pope (Habemus Papam)





Directed By: Nanni Moretti

Starring: Michel Piccoli and Nanni Moretti

Being a leader is hard work.  How many people have shied away from opportunities to lead a student organization, a neighborhood association, or some committee at work?  Stepping up to the plate can be tough stuff, and often none of us want to do it in the midst of our already stressful lives.  You know you've avoided something like this at some point in your life.  Hell, I certainly have...on mor...
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REVIEW: Quoth The Raven, "Nevermore Shall I Torture Myself with This Crap!"

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, April 28, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
The Raven





Directed By: James McTeigue

Starring: John Cusack, Alice Eve, Oliver Jackson-Cohen, Luke Evans, Kevin McNally, Pam Ferris, Sergej Trifunovic, Ian Virgo, and Sam Hazeldine

2012 supposedly marks the end of the world.  Since I'm writing this review, I'm inclined to think otherwise.  Hell, I'd argue that 2012 marks the year history will be rewritten.  We've got Abraham Lincoln becoming a vampire hunter.  We've got Snow White becoming an action hero.  We've even got Edgar Allan Poe becoming...
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REVIEW: Goon — Opens Up A Seriously Funny Can of Whoopass

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, April 28, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Goon
SoberFilmChick




Directed By: Michael Dowse

Starring: Seann William Scott, Liev Schreiber, and Jay Baruchel

“This is not f**king baseball.”  This statement was hurled out by an angry coach in Goon, and truer words were never spoken.  Goon tells the story of Doug Glatt (Seann William Scott), a bouncer at a local bar in Massachusetts.  Doug has the honor of being the not so bright black sheep in a family of doctors. While his brother is a surgeon, Doug is skilled in fighting and “bouncing,...
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REVIEW: Jason Statham Eats Bullets for Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner in Safe. That's Just Good Business Right There.

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, April 28, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Safe





Directed By: Boaz Yakin

Starring: Jason Statham, Catherine Chan, and Chris Sarandon

This weekend really is the preamble to the summer blockbuster season.  With Marvel's The Avengers next weekend, it seems almost pointless to go to the movies right now.  Almost.  Having seen action star Jason Statham's latest flick Safe, I can easily say that this movie might be worth stepping out to the box office one last time before the Marvel superheroes assemble next week.

Former NYPD police officer Luke...
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REVIEW: The Five-Year Engagement May Be the Five-Year Comedy, but It Brings Plenty of Laughs with Elmo, Cookie Monster, & Doughnuts

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, April 28, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
The Five-Year Engagement





Directed By: Nicholas Stoller

Starring: Jason Segel, Emily Blunt, Chris Pratt, Alison Brie, Lauren Weedman, Mimi Kennedy, David Paymer, Jacki Weaver, Jim Piddock, and Eric Scott-Cooper

With 2012 marking its 100th anniversary, Universal Pictures has got a great line-up of movies this year, especially in the comedy department.  Ted and This Is 40 are on the way later this year from Universal.  For now, we've got The Five-Year Engagement, a wedding-themed comedy that will s...
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REVIEW: In Its Search for the Light, The Only Destiny That The Lucky One Finds is Deep Darkness

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, April 21, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
The Lucky One





Directed By: Scott Hicks

Starring: Zac Efron, Taylor Schilling, Jay R. Ferguson, and Blythe Danner

Love is the theme of the weekend at the box office.  After a couple of months full of comedies and action flicks, studios decided to throw the dating public a bone and try to give them something a little more romantic.  With the adaptation of the Nicholas Sparks novel The Lucky One, they failed miserably though.

US Marine Logan Thibault stumbles across a photo of a beautiful woman whil...
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REVIEW: Despite the Gender War, Think Like a Man Doesn't Hate the Player. It Just Changes the Game...For the Better

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, April 21, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Think Like a Man





Directed By: Tim Story

Starring: Michael Ealy, Jay Ferrara, Meagan Good, Regina Hall, Kevin Hart, Taraji P. Henson, Terrence Jenkins, Romany Malco, and Gabrielle Union

Hollywood has decided to make this third weekend in April about love.  At their center, the two films headlining the box office this weekend are love movies.  The Lucky One is the latest romance drama to hit theaters, while Think Like a Man is the new romantic comedy.  Normally, I would say that having two romanti...
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REVIEW: The Algebra of Love. With Too Many Doufi and Not Enough Playboy Operators, Damsels in Distress Doesn't Quite Get the Math Right

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 15, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Damsels in Distress





Directed By: Whit Stillman

Starring: Greta Gerwig, Adam Brody, Analeigh Tipton, Megalyn Echikunwoke, Carrie MacLemore, Hugo Becker, and Ryan Metcalf

While I typically go to the movies to be swept away in some story or adventure, I occasionally learn something when at the theaters.  When I recently watched Whit Stillman's Damsels in Distress, I got an interesting lesson in ethics.  According to the girls in the film, one's morality and the size of his or her posterior are conn...
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REVIEW: Moe, Larry, and Curly are Back as The Three Stooges, But Why? Just Let the Damn Eye Poke Stay Retired.

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 15, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
The Three Stooges





Directed By: Farrelly Brothers

Starring: Chris Diamantoloulos, Sean Hayes, and Will Sasso

Back in the good old days, The Three Stooges were the kings of comedy.  Their antics brought smiles to the faces of millions for more than 45 years.  For nearly half a century, they helped shape the landscape of television and film with their unique brand of slapstick comedy.  Moe, Larry, and Curly are arguably the most iconic comedy act of the twentieth century.  With that in mind, Peter ...
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REVIEW: Lockout Takes Crappy Movies to the Next Frontier—Space

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, April 14, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Lockout





Directed By: James Mather and Stephen St. Leger

Starring: Guy Pearce, Maggie Grace, Vincent Regan, Joseph Gilgun, Lennie James, and Peter Stormare

April is really a filler month in the box office schedule that's hit-or-miss for moviegoers.  More often than not, the release schedule is filled with crap.  The heavy hitters released in March are still hanging around in theaters, and the new stuff is just the preamble to the summer blockbuster season.  The futuristic thriller Lockout is just...
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REVIEW: Brake- Don’t Stop For This Crap

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, April 14, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Brake
SoberFilmChick




Directed By: Gabe Torres

Starring: Stephen Dorff, Chyler Leigh, JR Bourne, and Tom Berenger

Imagine Die Hard if Bruce Willis was trapped in a glass coffin for an hour and a half and all he had was his wits to battle terrorists.  Oh yeah, and Bruce was neither charismatic nor funny.  Does that sound entertaining? No?  Well neither was Brake.

In Brake, Secret Service agent Jeremy Reins (Stephen Dorff) wakes up in a glass coffin.  Much to his horror, he is being held captive by t...
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REVIEW: Puppet Masters Drew Goddard and Joss Whedon Bring Blood and Brutality to Reality TV with The Cabin in the Woods

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, April 14, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
The Cabin in the Woods





Directed By: Drew Goddard

Starring: Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz, Jesse Williams, Richard Jenkins, and Bradley Whitford

It's Friday the 13th, and I'm here to talk about a newly released horror flick.  There is a catch though.  It doesn't involve the undead, machete-wielding menace Jason Voorhees.  I'm talking about the new horror movie The Cabin in the Woods by Drew Goddard and Joss Whedon.  While this new horror flick does pay homage to Ja...
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REVIEW: ATM - Getting A Few Bucks Has Never Been So Deadly

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Saturday, April 7, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
ATM
SoberFilmChick




Directed By: David Brooks

Starring: Alice Eve, Josh Peck, and Brian Geraghty

I am always paranoid if I use an ATM at night.  I have a fear that someone is going to sneak up behind me and rob me just as I’m keying in my code.  The ATMs that require you to swipe your card to enter into a windowed room at the front of a building are even worse because then you’re trapped in a room.   So ATM the movie is really my paranoia come to life, but on crack.

ATM is the story of David (B...
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REVIEW: American Reunion May Be Filled With All Kinds of Sex, But It Ain't That Funny

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, April 7, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
American Reunion





Directed By: Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg

Starring: Jason Biggs, Alyson Hannigan, Chris Klein, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Seann William Scott, Mena Suvari, and Tara Reid

It's hard to believe that it's been 13 years since the first American Pie film came out.  It's even harder to believe that the movie has spawned seven sequels.  Filmmakers have revisited the original gang twice and introduced viewers to other members of the Stifler family in several spin-offs....
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REVIEW: Aunque los Rancheros Dicen que Saben Nada, Saben lo que es Cómico en Casa de Mi Padre. (Even Though The Rancheros Claim They Nothing, They Know What's Funny in Casa de Mi Padre.)

Posted by James Brown on Friday, April 6, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Casa de Mi Padre





Directed By: Matt Piedmont

Starring: Will Ferrell, Gael García Bernal, Diego Luna, Génesis Rodríguez, Pedro Armendáriz, Jr., Nick Offerman, Efren Ramirez, and Adrian Martinez

Will Ferrell used to be the SNL vet that gave moviegoers mainstream comedies that set the standard for everybody else.  Just think of future classics like Old School, Elf, and Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.  Lately, he's been on the indie scene.  We recently saw him in the independent flic...
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REVIEW: If the American Educational System is Dead, Detachment is the Eulogy

Posted by James Brown on Friday, April 6, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Detachment





Directed By: Tony Kaye

Starring: Adrien Brody, James Caan, Christina Hendricks, Lucy Liu, Marcia Gay Harden, Tim Blake Nelson, Bryan Cranston, Sami Gayle, and William Petersen

Teaching is a tough vocation, particularly in public schools.  Aside from being underpaid and overstressed in a thankless job, teachers have to deal with the most dangerous force on Earth, ignorance.  They have to deal with ignorant parents who don't equip their kids with the tools or the mindset to thrive in th...
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REVIEW: The Kid with a Bike Is a Scrappy Little Pitbull

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, April 1, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
The Kid with a Bike





Directed By: Jean-Pierre Dardenne and Luc Dardenne

Starring: Cécile de France and Thomas Doret

If you recall from my review of Delicacy last week, I was hoping that the saccharine romantic comedy was a hidden gem among a slate of great films from or involving France.  I was wrong then, and have some leftover Merlot to prove it.  I'm happy to say that I've found a gem in Jean-Pierre and Luc Dardenne's French (and Belgian) film The Kid with a Bike.

Cyril (Thomas Doret) is a 12 ...
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REVIEW: The Deep Blue Sea Is Lethally Romantic

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 31, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
The Deep Blue Sea





Directed By: Terence Davies

Starring: Rachel Weisz, Tom Hiddleston, and Simon Russell Beale


"Sometimes, it's tough to judge when you're caught between the devil and the deep blue sea."
-Hester Collyer (Rachel Weisz)

Love is the most powerful force on Earth.  It can be the best and worst part of life.  It can give you a euphoria you've never known, or it can just as easily put you through a hell that clouds your judgment.  This is the case for Hester Collyer when she tries to comm...
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REVIEW: In Wrath of the Titans, Randomness Is the Name of the Game

Posted by James Brown on Friday, March 30, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Wrath of the Titans





Directed By: Jonathan Liebesman

Starring: Sam Worthington, Rosamund Pike, Bill Nighy, Édgar Ramirez, Toby Kebbell, Danny Huston, Ralph Fiennes, and Liam Neeson

Wrath of the Titans has finally hit theaters.  This means we get to watch studios take a big crap all over Greek mythology for the millionth time.  I'm not a fan of the 2010 flick Clash of the Titans.  I'm also not a fan of Sam Worthington.  That being said, I went into Wrath of the Titans with pretty low expectations...
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REVIEW: Delicacy May Not Find the Right Balance, But You Can with a Little Wine

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 24, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Delicacy





Directed By: David Foenkinos, Stéphane Foenkinos

Starring: Audrey Tautou, François Damiens, Bruno Todeschini, Mélanie Bernier, Joséphine de Meaux, Pio Marmaï, Monique Chaumette, and Marc Citti


France has played a big role in a lot of the great films of 2011.  Whether laying claim to the Academy Award-winning film for Best Picture The Artist or being prominently featured in acclaimed films such as Midnight in Paris and Hugo, France has been the center of attention for the last year ...
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REVIEW: The Raid: Redemption Is a Bloodbath That Just Fits

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 24, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
The Raid: Redemption





Directed By: Gareth Evans

Starring: Iko Uwais, Joe Taslim, Donny Alamsyah, Yayan Ruhian, Pierre Gruno, Tegar Setrya, and Ray Sahetapy

The world of movies has turned on its head this weekend.  For once, the big blockbuster of the weekend is one for the ladies, while the indie is more so for the guys.  As I mentioned in my review of The Hunger Games, the film is a rich story with limited action.  Though it's a great movie, The Hunger Games has inherently more appeal to women. ...
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REVIEW: The Girl on Fire Has a Promising Start in The Hunger Games

Posted by James Brown on Friday, March 23, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
The Hunger Games





Directed By: Gary Ross

Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Woody Harrelson, Elizabeth Banks, Lenny Kravitz, Stanley Tucci, and Donald Sutherland

There's been a lot of hype around The Hunger Games over the last couple of months.  In no small way, that's due to some strong marketing.  Lionsgate's tagline for the film is "The World Will Be Watching".  That's big talk for the first installment in a series even if it's based on a bestselling book.  It's been...
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REVIEW: The Snowtown Murders- A Painfully Brutal Australian Drama

Posted by SoberFilmChick on Tuesday, March 20, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
The Snowtown Murders
SoberFilmChick




Directed By: Justin Kurzel

Starring: Daniel Henshall, Lucas Pittaway, and Louise Harris


I am traumatized.  I viewed The Snowtown Murders yesterday and it took me a full day to collect my thoughts and write about what I witnessed.  I usually do not read other critical reviews of a film until after I have seen the movie.  I like to watch a film unbiased so that I can give a fresh perspective for Sobriety Test readers.  So going into Snowtown, all I knew was that ...
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REVIEW: Jeff Should've Stayed at Home

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 17, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Jeff, Who Lives at Home





Directed By: Jay Duplass and Mark Duplass

Starring: Jason Segel, Ed Helms, Judy Greer, Rae Dawn Chong, and Susan Sarandon


If there is one universal thing that can drive anyone and everyone crazy, it's family.  They know what makes you tick and how to exploit it.  They know how to push your buttons more so than anyone.  That's why you have to move out when you come of a certain age.  Apparently, Jeff, Who Lives At Home, didn't get the memo.

Thirty something Jeff (Jason Sege...
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REVIEW: The Decoy Bride – Not Quite Bridget Jones, But Decent

Posted by Mary Dieng on Saturday, March 17, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
The Decoy Bride
SoberFilmChick




Directed By: Sheree Folkson

Starring: David Tennant, Alice Eve, and Kelly MacDonald


The Decoy Bride is a British romantic comedy about Lara Tyler (Alice Eve a.k.a. the braless nanny from Sex and the City 2), an international movie star who is attempting to marry British writer James Arber (David Tennant).  Unfortunately for Lara, the paparazzi is hounding her every move and journalists from all over the world are hell bent on snapping pictures of the wedding.  One p...
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REVIEW: 21 Jump Street Ain't What It Used To Be

Posted by James Brown on Friday, March 16, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
21 Jump Street





Directed By: Phil Lord and Chris Miller

Starring: Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Brie Larson, Dave Franco, Ellie Kemper, Rob Riggle, and Ice Cube

With the lack of creativity that's been raging in Hollywood in recent years, studios have been bringing many classic television shows to the big screen.  Just look at films like Bewitched, Charlie's Angels, and Get Smart.  All of these movies are attempts to replicate the magic of the past, and this rarely works.  In actuality, the studios ...
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REVIEW: Salmon Fishing in the Yemen Has a Little Bit of Something for Everyone

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, March 11, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Salmon Fishing in the Yemen





Directed By: Lasse Holström

Starring: Emily Blunt, Ewan McGregor, Kristin Scott Thomas, and Amr Waked

Running a site like STMR means I have to go see movies that don't necessarily appeal to me.  In the last few weeks alone, I've seen the crappy party movie Project X, the absolutely humorless film Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie, and the less than impactful romance The Vow.  Now, I'm relegating myself to going to see movies about fishing with the British romantic...
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REVIEW: Friends with Kids- The Bridesmaids Cast Grows Up In This Sexy Rom Com

Posted by Mary Dieng on Sunday, March 11, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Friends with Kids
SoberFilmChick




Directed By: Jennifer Westfeldt

Starring: Adam Scott, Jennifer Westfeldt, Jon Hamm, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Chris O'Dowd, Megan Fox, and Edward Burns

I cannot write this review without a nod to Bridesmaids.  After all, a good portion of the cast of Friends with Kids consists of Bridesmaids alumni: Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Jon Hamm and Chris O’Dowd.  But aside from the fact that both films are funny as hell, that is pretty much where the similarities end. ...
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REVIEW: Being Flynn Is All About Being Homeless on the Cold, Hard Streets

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, March 11, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Being Flynn





Directed By: Paul Weitz

Starring: Robert De Niro, Paul Dano, Olivia Thirlby, and Julianne Moore

Every single one of us has some homeless person we encounter on a regular basis.  He may be that guy you see on the subway or bus on your way to school.  He could be someone you regularly pass on the streets while walking to work.  He could even be the guy you see in the mirror when you wake up in the morning.  My point is that homelessness is an all too common phenomenon, and you never kn...
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REVIEW: The Comeback Has Ended for Eddie Murphy. A Thousand Words Says It in a Thousand Ways

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 10, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
A Thousand Words





Directed By: Brian Robbins

Starring: Eddie Murphy, Kerry Washington, Cliff Curtis, Clark Duke, and Allison Janney

Six months ago, the writing was on the wall.  Eddie Murphy was making his big comeback.  Tower Heist was supposed to herald the return of the old Eddie Murphy.  Then, he was supposed to host the Oscars for the first time.  Finally, he was going to cap everything off with the comedy vehicle A Thousand Words.  To date, I can say that this comeback has definitely been o...
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REVIEW: Silent House Is Authentically Mediocre

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 10, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Silent House





Directed By: Chris Kentis and Laura Lau

Starring: Elizabeth Olsen, Adam Trese, Eric Sheffer Stevens, Julia Taylor Ross, and Haley Murphy

These days, the horror genre is more predictable than ever.  You get a few kills, a few hot girls, and more than a few bad actors.  When there's talk of the downfall of modern mainstream cinema, the conversation wouldn't be complete without mentioning how crappy horror flicks are these days.  That's why I'm so surprised that the talented young actr...
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REVIEW: John Carter of Mars, Welcome to the Big Screen. What Took You So Long?

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 10, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
John Carter





Directed By: Andrew Stanton

Starring: Taylor Kitsch, Lynn Collins, Samantha Morton, Mark Strong, Ciarán Hinds, Dominic West, James Purefoy, and Willem Dafoe


John Carter is a movie that's destined to be a flop.  With a hefty $250 million dollar production budget and a lot of negative pre-release buzz, Disney stands to lose some big bucks.  With all this negative attention surrounding the movie, it should be hard to watch and critique John Carter objectively.  I don't give a damn abou...
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REVIEW: We Need To Talk About Kevin...Seriously. This Kid Is Evil!

Posted by James Brown on Thursday, March 8, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
We Need To Talk About Kevin





Directed By: Lynne Ramsay

Starring: Tilda Swinton, John C. Reilly, and Ezra Miller


Some kids are just born monsters.  From the moment they arrive, you know they're rotten to the core.  Their parents can dish out all the love and affection in the world.  They can try to instill some semblance of moral values.  They can do everything in their power to give these black sheep normal lives.  At the end of the day, they're just pure evil in human form.  There's absolutely n...
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REVIEW: The Forgiveness of Blood - The Kanun And Blood Feuds

Posted by Mary Dieng on Tuesday, March 6, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
The Forgiveness of Blood
Mary Dieng




Directed By: Joshua Marston

Starring: Tristan Halilaj, Sindi Lacej, Refet Abazi, and Ilire Vinca Celaj


There are some films that make you surf the Internet and do a little research upon viewing them.   You feel compelled to find out whether the subject matter is real or whether the filmmakers were pulling your leg.  Joshua Marston's The Forgiveness of Blood is that kind of film and I found myself googling Albania and the Kanun as soon as the credits started rol...
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REVIEW: A Separation Is Undeniably Riveting

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 3, 2012, In : 0.00% Water 
A Separation





Directed By: Asghar Farhadi

Starring: Leila Hatami, Peyman Moaadi, Shahab Hosseini, Sareh Bayat, and Sarina Farhadi


I'm a little late to the game for A Separation.  This Iranian drama has been in theaters for a while now and has had a lot of good buzz.  It's won the Golden Bear for Best Film at the Berlin International Film Festival.  It's won the Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film.  With all this hype, it's the must-see foreign film of the year.  Having now seen A Separat...
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REVIEW: Declaration of War- A Parent’s Worst Nightmare

Posted by Mary Dieng on Saturday, March 3, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Declaration of War
Mary Dieng




Directed By: Valérie Donzelli

Starring: Valérie Donzelli, Jérémie Elkaïm, and César Desseix


A parent’s worst nightmare is that their child will become sick.  From the moment you have a baby, you feel an overwhelming need to protect him or her from anything and everything.  But there are some things, like disease, that even mom can’t make go away.  The French film Declaration of War takes us into the heart of a family’s struggle with the unthinkable.

Romeo ...
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REVIEW: Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie Is a Billion Dollar Piece of Crap

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, March 3, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie (B$M)





Directed By: Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim

Starring: Tim Heidecker, Eric Wareheim, Zach Galifianakis, and Will Ferrell

Once in a while, I go to the movies, and I almost forget why I love the movies so much.  Sometimes the movies I go see are just so terrible that my faith in the magic of cinema wavers a bit.  Particularly now, in this early part of the year, I really just go into this sort of movie depression.  There's a lot of crap making its way into...
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REVIEW: Project X Is Anything But Epic

Posted by James Brown on Friday, March 2, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Project X





Directed By: Nima Nourizadeh

Starring: Thomas Mann, Oliver Cooper, Jonathan Daniel Brown, Nichole Bloom, and Alexis Knapp

Project X has been a pretty hyped up film.  With it being marketed as "Superbad on crack" and having filmmaker Todd Phillips (Old School, The Hangover) on board as a producer, the movie has every reason to be awesome.  With all that in mind, I expected it to be.  I expected to laugh my ass off.  Having now seen Project X, I can say that it's not so awesome after all...
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REVIEW: Gone is a Well-Intentioned Thriller on Crack

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 25, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Gone





Directed By: Heitor Dhalia

Starring: Amanda Seyfried, Jennifer Carpenter, and Wes Bentley


Amanda Seyfried is one actress who is definitely on the rise.  She has the talent to do great things in her career.  She just hasn't had the right roles.  Having been in films such as Dear John, Jennifer's Body, and Red Riding Hood, she hasn't exactly built a stellar filmography.  Seyfried is so much better than the films she makes.  Unfortunately, she's added another bad film to her résumé — Heito...
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REVIEW: Hippies, and Sex, and Drugs! Oh, My! Wanderlust Throws the Kitchen Sink at Moviegoers

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 25, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Wanderlust





Directed By: David Wain

Starring: Jennifer Aniston, Paul Rudd, Justin Theroux, Malin Akerman, Lauren Ambrose, Joe Lo Truglio, Kathryn Hahn, Melissa Joan Hart, and Alan Alda


Raunchy slapstick comedies have taken a very interesting turn in recent years.  These films have become more reliant on penises for laughs. This new obsession has manifested itself in many ways on the big screen.  I can think of quite a few comedies where filmmakers try to get a rise out of their viewers by putting...
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REVIEW: Tyler Perry's Good Deeds – Not Too Bad

Posted by Mary Dieng on Saturday, February 25, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Good Deeds
Mary Dieng




Directed By: Tyler Perry

Starring: Tyler Perry, Thandie Newton, Brian J. White, Rebecca Romijn, Jamie Kennedy, Phylicia Rashad, and Gabrielle Union


I will confess, I was not excited when I was asked to review Tyler Perry’s new film Good Deeds.  Not that I don’t like Perry (Mr. Brown aside).  At their core, his films tend to be about redemption and the triumph of the human spirit.  They are, however, often predictable, and the trailer for Good Deeds looked like a made-for...
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REVIEW: The Damn Few Have Every Reason to Be Proud of Act of Valor...Except for Some Bad Acting

Posted by James Brown on Friday, February 24, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Act of Valor





Directed By: Mike McCoy and Scott Waugh

Starring: Roselyn Sanchez, Nestor Serrano, and Emilio Rivera

Movies based on true stories have the greatest advantage over fictional films—the plethora of people who can offer expertise on the story being told based on their actual life experiences.  Their consultation in the filmmaking process can often lend a film a certain authenticity.  Look no further than recent films like Moneyball and In the Land of Blood and Honey.  These flicks rea...
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REVIEW: I'm Not a Racist, But I Know Somebody Who Is — Dave Brown in Rampart

Posted by James Brown on Monday, February 20, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Rampart





Directed By: Oren Moverman

Starring: Woody Harrelson, Ned Beatty, Anne Heche, Steve Buscemi, and Sigourney Weaver

It's good to see a movie about a hardcore racist.  Hollywood has been obsessed in recent years with sugary dramas about overcoming racial barriers.  They show harmonious relationships where an upstanding white member of the community helps out some downtrodden, oppressed blacks.  Just look at films like The Blind Side and The Help.  They're movies that make you feel good abou...
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REVIEW: Ghost Rider Has a Spirit of Vengeance, But It's Still One Ride You Don't Wanna Take

Posted by James Brown on Friday, February 17, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance





Directed By: Neveldine/Taylor

Starring: Nicolas Cage, Fergus Riordan, Ciarán Hinds, Violante Placido, Idris Elba, Christopher Lambert, and Johnny Whitworth


Nicolas Cage was once a respected, formidable actor. This guy is an Oscar winner with some great films on his résumé including Face/Off, The Rock, and Adaptation.  When the IRS came knocking though, his career stopped rocking. It's clear.  He's become known for making some of the worst films in recent years...
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REVIEW: This Means War Means Business

Posted by James Brown on Wednesday, February 15, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
This Means War





Directed By: McG

Starring: Reese Witherspoon, Chris Pine, Tom Hardy, Chelsea Handler, and Til Schweiger

Guys, it's Valentine's Day weekend, and you're looking for that right movie that can please you and your significant other.  It needs to be action-packed, funny, and somehow romantic.  That’s a tall order though.  Having some badass action sequences for you and some heartfelt, raw emotional scenes for the ladies is a challenging task for any movie.  No one film can do all of t...
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REVIEW: Kill List - A Brutal, Disturbing Thriller

Posted by Mary Dieng on Sunday, February 12, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Kill List
Mary Dieng




Directed By: Ben Wheatley

Starring: Neil Maskell, Michael Smiley, MyAnna Buring, and Emma Fryer


Confused and Disturbed.  That would describe my feelings at the end of viewing Kill List.  WTH would also be appropriate.  Kill List is the story of Jay (Neil Maskell), an ex-British soldier who has hit hard financial times.  He has not worked in over eight months and his wife Shel (Myanna Buring), also a former soldier, is irate.  The film begins with them bickering at a dinner pa...
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REVIEW: Journey 2: The Mysterious Island - Terminal Intensity For Kids

Posted by Mary Dieng on Saturday, February 11, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Journey 2: The Mysterious Island
Mary Dieng




Directed By: Brad Peyton

Starring: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Michael Caine, Josh Hutcherson, Vanessa Hudgens, and Kristin Davis

I encountered the best part of Journey 2: The Mysterious Island days before its release.  In the Twitterverse, actor Simon Pegg (Shaun of the Dead, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol) commented on the Journey 2 movie poster, saying “Every morning on the way to work I see a big poster of The Rock riding a bee with termina...
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REVIEW: Moments of Impact. The Vow Offered Very Few of Them.

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 11, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
The Vow





Directed By: Michael Sucsy

Starring: Channing Tatum, Rachel McAdams, Sam Neill, Scott Speedman, Jessica Lange, and Jessica McNamee

I can't lie. I'm not a huge fan of Channing Tatum.  I think he's a very limited actor whose best moments on screen are those when he's not talking.  At the same time, I'm a fan of Rachel McAdams.  It's been a long time since the days of Mean Girls and Wedding Crashers, and I've enjoyed watching her grow as an actress over the years.  With each new role she ta...
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REVIEW: Safe House Plays It Too Safe

Posted by James Brown on Friday, February 10, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Safe House





Directed By: Daniel Espinosa

Starring: Denzel Washington, Ryan Reynolds, Vera Farmiga, Brendan Gleeson, and Sam Shepard

These last several months have been an interesting time for movies with big actors.  Time and time again, we've all been asking whether great acting is enough to make a movie great.  Well, the results have been mixed thus far.  In J. Edgar, Leonardo DiCaprio gives a powerhouse performance.  The problem is that the movie absolutely sucks.  In The Iron Lady, Meryl Stre...
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REVIEW: Perfect Sense – A Sexy Love Story In The Midst Of the Apocalypse

Posted by Mary Dieng on Saturday, February 4, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Perfect Sense
Mary Dieng




Directed By: David Mackenzie

Starring: Eva Green and Ewan McGregor


The mark of a solid independent film is whether it leaves you thinking long after you have seen it.  You know what I’m talking about—the films where you’re not sure what you just saw after the lights go up and you walk out of the theater; the films that leave you conversing with a friend, questioning what the purpose was and what it all means; the films that make you want to go back to a college comp...
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REVIEW: The Woman in Black Takes Us Way Back

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 4, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
The Woman in Black





Directed By: James Watkins

Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Ciarán Hinds, Janet McTeer, Sophie Stuckey, Liz White, and Alisa Khasanova

Most scary movies these days just don't get the job done.  Ghost stories and old school thrillers have gone out of fashion.  We're left with remakes of 80s slasher flicks like A Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th that can never quite live up to the originals.  Alternatively, we get unnecessarily gory films that are tantamount to torture po...
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REVIEW: Chronicle Rocks!

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, February 4, 2012, In : 0.03% Wine Coolers 
Chronicle





Directed By: Josh Trank

Starring: Michael B. Jordan, Dane DeHaan, Michael Kelly, and Alex Russell

It's hard to go to the movies and find something fresh and new.  Hollywood is not a place where there's a great deal of innovation anymore.  There's still some hope though.  Some filmmakers have dared to turn traditional filmmaking on its head by making mockumentaries.  These documentary-like flicks are the next big thing in cinema.  Just think about movies like Paranormal Activity and Dis...
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REVIEW: Loosies – Pickpockets Have Problems Too

Posted by Mary Dieng on Sunday, January 29, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Loosies
Mary Dieng




Directed By: Michael Corrente

Starring: Peter Facinelli, Jaimie Alexander, Michael Madsen, Joe Pantoliano, and Vincent Gallo

Criminals, they’re just like the rest of us!  They work their nine to five jobs with little financial reward and the “man” on their backs.  They take care of their moms, and they don’t make the best decisions when it comes to love.   Who knew?

Bobby (Peter Facinelli) is a thirty-something year old pickpocket who works the streets of New York.  Bobb...
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REVIEW: Albert Nobbs Is a Daft Picture of Repression

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, January 29, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Albert Nobbs





Directed By: Rodrigo García

Starring: Glenn Close, Mia Wasikowska, Aaron Johnson, Janet McTeer, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Brendan Gleeson, and Maria Doyle Kennedy

January is the worst time of year for movies.  We as moviegoers get the short end of the stick in so many ways.  For mainstream films, we get all the crap that studios can't put out any other time of the year when there's real competition.  For indie films, we're stuck with the flicks we've already seen in the fall.  They've ...
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REVIEW: One for the Money Is One for the Crapper

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 28, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
One for the Money





Directed By: Julie Anne Robinson

Starring: Katherine Heigl, Jason O'Mara, Daniel Sunjata, John Leguizamo, Sherri Shepherd, and Debbie Reynolds

2010 marked the beginning of the end for Katherine Heigl.  When studio execs decided to give her a gun in the romantic comedy Killers, we all knew that she could only go downhill from there.  As expected, the film was awful and bombed at the box office.  Heigl hasn't had a hit since that disastrous film.  For some strange reason, some st...
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REVIEW: Albatross – A Lightweight, Less Provocative American Beauty

Posted by Mary Dieng on Saturday, January 28, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Albatross
Mary Dieng




Directed By: Niall MacCormick

Starring: Jessica Brown-Findlay, Sebastian Koch, Julia Ormond, and Felicity Jones

I guess it is unfair to compare this British coming of age dramedy to American Beauty.  But it’s not a big leap.  Bored middle-aged dad?  Check.  “Shrew-like” mom? Check.  Relatively nondescript teenage daughter?  Check.  Sexy free-spirited best friend of said teenage daughter? Check.  Dysfunctional family? Check, Check, Check, Check.

Jonathan Fischer (Sebastia...
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REVIEW: The Man on a Ledge Should Go Ahead and Jump Off. It Would Make My Day.

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 28, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Man on a Ledge





Directed By: Asger Leth

Starring: Ed Harris, Sam Worthington, Elizabeth Banks, Anthony Mackie, Jamie Bell, and Génesis Rodriguez

In any heist flick, there's a certain amount of crap that filmmakers pull that will just never be believable, but we as moviegoers let it slide.  We suspend our disbelief.  In Fast Five, did you really think Toretto and O'Conner were able to swap vaults with their team members while they were all driving at 80 to 90 miles per hour?  In the Ocean's flick...
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REVIEW: The Grey Is a Smart Movie, But It's Also Really Stupid

Posted by James Brown on Friday, January 27, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
The Grey





Directed By: Joe Carnahan

Starring: Liam Neeson, Frank Grillo, Dermot Mulroney, Dallas Roberts, Joe Anderson, Nonso Anozie, and James Badge Dale

Attention everyone!  It's that time of year for a kick-ass Liam Neeson B-movie, and no actor in the world wanted to go toe-to-toe with the famed Irish actor this time around.  Liam Neeson has beaten the hell out of every human badass on camera and is now relegated to fighting wolves.  Writer/director Joe Carnahan took a stab at bringing a wolf ...
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REVIEW: Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close Is Extremely Slow & Incredibly Boring

Posted by James Brown on Sunday, January 22, 2012, In : 0.09% Cocktails 
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close





Directed By: Stephen Daldry

Starring: Tom Hanks, Sandra Bullock, Thomas Horn, Max von Sydow, Viola Davis, John Goodman, Jeffrey Wright, and Zoe Caldwell

For all of us, September 11th, 2001 is a day that will be etched in our memories until the day we die.  We'll never forget the devastation that took place in New York and DC on that day.  Having just recently marked the tenth anniversary of one of the most tragic days in American history, it's fitting that Holly...
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REVIEW: Red Tails Never Takes Off From the Runway

Posted by James Brown on Saturday, January 21, 2012, In : 0.12% Hard Liquor 
Red Tails





Directed By: Anthony Hemingway

Starring: Cuba Gooding, Jr., Terrence Howard, Daniela Rush, Bryan Cranston, Nate Parker, David Oyelowo, Ryan Early, Method Man, Elijah Kelley, and Ne-Yo

Black History Month will be upon us in a couple of weeks, but Hollywood has decided to get the jump on everyone else this weekend by putting out a film on the Tuskegee Airmen, the first African-American pilots in the US armed forces.  In the face of racism, prejudice, and discrimination, they were trailbl...
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REVIEW: Haywire Satisfies But Does Not Electrify

Posted by Mary Dieng, Esq. on Saturday, January 21, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Haywire
Mary Dieng




Directed By: Steven Soderbergh

Starring: Gina Carano, Ewan McGregor, Michael Fassbender, Channing Tatum, Michael Angarano, Antonio Banderas, and Michael Douglas

Maybe my expectations were just a little too high.  Maybe, I’m a dreamer.  I was excited to see Haywire.  And why not?  A film directed by Steven Soderbergh (Traffic, the Oceans series, Contagion) with a cast that includes new “it” actor Michael Fassbender, Antonio Banderas, Michael Douglas and Ewan McGregor is de...
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REVIEW: Underworld Is a Kickass Awakening to the Vampire & Werewolf Genre

Posted by James Brown on Friday, January 20, 2012, In : 0.06% Beer or Wine 
Underworld: Awakening





Directed By: Måns Mårlind and Björn Stein

Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Sandrine Holt, Theo James, Michael Ealy, and India Eisley

What ever happened to the good old fashioned movies with vampires and werewolves beating the holy hell out of each other?  Those were the good old days.  Then, Twilight arrived and forever tainted the vampire and werewolf genre.  That series threw romance into the picture and created insanely popular crap.  Before Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattins...
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