American Reunion

Directed By: Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg

Starring: Jason Biggs, Alyson Hannigan, Chris Klein, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Seann William Scott, Mena Suvari, and Tara Reid

It's hard to believe that it's been 13 years since the first American Pie film came out.  It's even harder to believe that the movie has spawned seven sequels.  Filmmakers have revisited the original gang twice and introduced viewers to other members of the Stifler family in several spin-offs.  Now, things are coming full circle as we're being reintroduced to the fools who started it all in American Reunion.  The only problem is that age hasn't helped them one bit.  They're all still fools.

Jim (Jason Biggs) and Michelle (Alyson Hannigan) have been married for quite some time now and have a 2-year-old son.  With a kid in the house, neither of them is getting their needs met.  To deal with their nonexistent sex life, Jim turns to Internet porn, and Michelle turns to pleasuring herself in the bathtub.  Things never go quite as planned with a kid in the house though.  When their son Evan (George Christopher Bianchi) walks in on each of them having their own special time, they know they have to get out of the house and do something to get out of their rut.  It just so happens that the Class of 1999 is hosting a 13-year reunion.

Jim and Michelle decide to go back to East Great Falls for the festivities.  There, Jim meets up with his old gang—Oz (Chris Klein), Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas), and Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas).  Oz is an NFL sportscaster for ESPN who is trapped by his high-maintenance supermodel girlfriend Mia (Katrina Bowden).  Tortured with shows like Gossip Girl, Kevin is living an incredibly dull life with his wife Ellie (Charlene Amoia).  Thought to be missing, Finch claims that he's been doing a little globetrotting.  The gang begins to have a fun time catching up in a rather peaceful reunion.  However, they can't avoid Stifler (Seann William Scott) who is out to prove that he's still got what it takes to rule the social scene in town.

Like any American Pie film, sex is at the forefront of American Reunion, and we definitely get it in all forms throughout the movie.  You have traditional sex, Internet porn, masturbation, S&M, oral sex, and the occasional insertion of Jim’s family jewels into pots and pans.  There's quite a bit on the agenda here.  Sadly, this does nothing for the film.  Because of mediocre writing and some poor performances, American Reunion is a film that doesn't deliver any big laughs. 

This latest installment in the American Pie series is clearly a desperate attempt to revive a dead franchise.  Who the hell has a 13-year reunion?  Is there something special about the number 13 that I don't know?  If so, someone please let me know.  I know screenwriters Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg were clearly trying to manufacture a script as quickly as possible, but there's no excuse for this kind of crap.  They've written a humorous little film that tries to bring back the spirit of the first three American Pie flicks, but that's not enough to get the job done on the big screen anymore.

While Eugene Levy brings his best as Jim's dad Noah Levenstein, Seann William Scott just doesn't carry his weight as the most experienced comedian of the bunch.  He makes Stifler a pretty damn annoying character.  This man child is serving as the resident asshole on screen, and that would have worked ten years ago, but not today.  As arguably the most successful cast member from the original American Pie, Seann William Scott is supposed to be the ringer who delivers the big laughs.  Instead, he looks like the least experienced fool on camera after all this time.

Ultimately, American Reunion feels outdated.  The series' time has come and gone.  It's just a fact of life.  You can feel it every time you try to find humor in some stale joke.  You can hear it in 90s tunes from R. Kelly, Boyz II Men, and Montell Jordan.  You can see it as you watch Stifler do everything but make you laugh.  American Reunion gets a 0.09% rating.  Have a few gin and tonics with this one.