Directed By: Robert Schwentke

Starring: Bruce Willis, Mary-Louise Parker, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, Helen Mirren, Brian Cox, and Karl Urban

The actors of today have definitely earned their place in the hearts of moviegoers, but we still love our stars of old.  In the world of action movies for instance, just look to the success of The Expendables and the seemingly unending careers of the legends of the 80s and 90s.  Somehow, the likes of Schwarzenegger and Stallone are still going, granted in diminished capacities given their age.  More importantly, there's one old action star who just keeps going and going and going, regardless of his age.  That star is Bruce Willis.  Though he may be a retired spy in Red, he's still one extremely dangerous badass.

Frank Moses (Willis) is living the quiet retired life.  He's somehow never getting his monthly pension checks and having flirtatious calls with his pension office's customer service representative Sarah Ross (Mary-Louise Parker).  Frank is living this nice peaceful life until he's not.  One night, a hit squad raids his house, and the retired spy shows that he won't just roll over and die.  After the assault, he's afraid that anyone with whom he's come into contact is in danger. With Sarah being the only person with whom he's spoken recently, he heads to Kansas City for one dangerous first date.

Frank kidnaps Sarah and takes her with him to New Orleans, but he means her no harm.  He ties her up in a hotel while he meets another former spy named Joe Matheson (Morgan Freeman) at Green Springs Retirement Home to get some more intel on the situation at hand.  During Frank's outing, Sarah escapes the hotel and finds herself in the hands of those who do actually mean her harm.  This means that Frank must come save the day.  This all leads to an altercation between Frank and William Cooper (Karl Urban), the CIA agent tasked with taking Frank out.  It doesn't bode too well for Cooper.  Afterward, Frank and Sarah flee to find out more about why the government is trying to kill him.  Along the way, they meet up with several other older spies including Marvin (John Malkovich), Victoria (Helen Mirren), and Ivan (Brian Cox).

Red is one fun action flick.  With an elite cast of veteran actors we all love, director Robert Scwhentke crafts a film with a certain playful energy that's undeniably infectious.  These old screen legends definitely deliver the goods throughout this thoroughly entertaining spy movie.  With crazy performances from this cast and lots of wisecracks about old people, comedy is in large supply throughout the movie.  With some aging action stars still doing what they do best, bullets fly and plenty of asses get kicked as well.  All in all, Red is a fun caper that consistently delights.

Our stars are clearly enjoying themselves on the big screen, and this translates well to the audience.  As the main character Frank Moses, Bruce Willis does what no other star of his generation can quite do like him, be a brooding badass.  With Moses in his mid-fifties, no other man could believably play this character — considered the most effective black ops agent of all time, a man who has toppled governments and retired drug lords and terrorists — quite like Willis.  He's undeniably entertaining.  More importantly, no one quite represents the Baby Boomer action stars quite like Willis.  He's the best of his generation.  As such, his casting carries a little more significance.

The supporting cast members deliver fun performances as well.  As Joe Matheson, Morgan Freeman gives us a smooth, stately performance, which he typically brings to the big screen.  However, he also gives us one funny old pervert.  As Victoria, Helen Mirren brings her trademark wit and charm, but it may not be the most biting thing from her.  The elder actress is surprisingly enjoyable pounding baddies, even if it’s not entirely believable.  I didn't know she had it in her.  Brian Cox is also a delight as Ivan.  He's always perfect for playing a devilish foe.  Even if he's not a villain, he's still a darker, more devious protagonist and establishes himself as one with whom you shouldn't trifle.  Finally, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention John Malkovich.  This dude switches the flip on us, and it's hilarious to watch.  His insane performance will definitely enamor you, especially when he gets the pig.

Though Red is thoroughly enjoyable, it's not a perfect movie by far.  There is no shortage of cheesy dialogue, and suspension of disbelief may just be a little harder when Morgan Freeman and Helen Mirren are laying the smackdown.  Nonetheless, Red is Love's Savage Secret.  We recognize these questionable aspects of the film and love it more for them.  Red gets a strong 0.06% rating.  Have a couple of glasses of Albariño with this one.